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| Blogs > 80sbaby71 > Life in the Nursery~ |
Why the pressure?
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Why the pressure? I wrote a blog...it is hidden. It was for my eyes only. It was about being pressured into doing something that I wasn't necessarily ready for. Why is it that people feel that they need to pressure their friends, spouses, bf/gf etc into doing things? Is it to make themselves feel better? Without going into alot of the details...this is what I went through last night with the rebounder. Rebounder and I had plans to get together last night and hang out. It was "decided" by him that we would go walk around, eat...then end up back at my place. This was his thought. Well he texted saying he had a bad headache and would it be ok to go to his place instead and just relax? Worked for me! So he asked if I would pick up a couple of movies and meet him in the country. I have noticed that the rebounder has a habit of plying me with alcohol. I had a previous relationship that the guy did this quite often. Well, after showers and dinner...we settled down to watch a movie. Then after continued alcohol pushing...he starts talking about fantasys. Have you ever done this? Tried that? Etc...etc...etc. Little alarms are going off in my head. Did I listen? Nope... So he asks if there is a chance that I might want to try some of the things I am curious about. Well sure...someday if I work up the courage. Well...some know I am curious...I love women...breasts...the female form. I have never done anything though. A friend did kiss me. It was closed mouth. I have had women play with my breasts. I am curious about what it would be like to have a woman do things to me...but not quite sure I could do something back. Like I said curious. Well next thing I know he is inviting a woman over. (I later found out that the two of them have been VERY active lately) And this is the man that says that my blogging on Senior Sizzle is not condusive to a healthy loving relationship. So it seems like he wants to "help me along on my journey". Now don't get me wrong. I was more than happy to think about it. I was more than happy to watch them. But then he started trying to get me to do things to her....Ok...as I said, I am not to that point. Well....things happened. And he wasn't all that happy. But such is life. We all went to sleep (he did make sure that we got pleasured) in his bed. He has a waterbed. He keeps his room like a freaking freezer! So I did make him sleep in the middle. And I did notice that he did snuggle with me. He did try to get some stuff started once more this morning....There was awkwardness abounding. She finally got up, dressed and left. He showered...while I showered he fixed us breakfast. Then I was invited along to watch his 's football game. No mention of the pressure...the other woman and no touching at all. And as soon as the game was over we went separate ways. This is a man that I have had feelings for for 3 years. I have stood by as he dumped me to go to another woman. Then they broke up and he came back to me. Then he went back to her. And got engaged. They split...back to me....once more back to her...and guess who he came back to? But he doesn't want to be with me because I am fat...I blog on here...I won't tell him what kind of porn I like...and because he has never been inside my apt. I have sat in my apt today crying. I feel used. I feel like I was put into a situation by someone who I had feelings for....and just FYI...I have only told 3 men I loved them...and those words haven't come out of my mouth to him...I never knew why til today. I listened to my heart...instead of my head. And with that...I was hurt.   |
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As I said...he was plying me with alcohol...BIG indicator (which I didn't act on). I did tell him that I was not sure I could do anything at this point.... Because I have feelings for him... And damn I wish I had the nerve to act on my alarms!
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10/1/2011 9:28 pm |
I do agree with countrygal, communication between ALL parties is crucial there. That and everyone having a clear mind. The fact that he knowingly used alcohol to do this sets off all kinds of alarm bells. I'll just end this on the note that he is the type of person that would not want to come across me in a dark alley.... only one will be able to walk back out of it... I would say he is scum but that would be embarrassing to the scum.
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Alcohol is bad. He did use you. He is an ass. A sorry son of a bitch. A bastard. A prick. An evil monster. A selfish anal retentive dickhead. Please, please, please delete him from your life. *HUGS* I love you!
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10/1/2011 11:27 pm |
You can always call me as I can lend you my hear to hear what's on your mind my friend? [post 977684] [post 1673788] [post 1567265] [post 2508587] [post 2511504] [post 2589132] Are You Ready For........[post 2587359] Check it out & particpate!! The BHL Blog Interviews...[post 2597695] The BHL Blog Index.......[post 2594103]     
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I so agree with pony. you don't need assholes like that in your life. you need a guy that will love you for being you and love you as you are and not want to change you or give you alcohol to get you to do things. I know if you have feelings for him it will be hard to cut him out of your life but for you to be the great person that all of your friends know that you are, you need to drop him out of your life. and if he doesn't like that then he can just kiss your sweet ass. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I do agree with countrygal, communication between ALL parties is crucial there. That and everyone having a clear mind. The fact that he knowingly used alcohol to do this sets off all kinds of alarm bells. I'll just end this on the note that he is the type of person that would not want to come across me in a dark alley.... only one will be able to walk back out of it... I would say he is scum but that would be embarrassing to the scum.
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Thanks....
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Alcohol is bad. He did use you. He is an ass. A sorry son of a bitch. A bastard. A prick. An evil monster. A selfish anal retentive dickhead. Please, please, please delete him from your life. *HUGS* I love you!
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I so agree with pony. you don't need assholes like that in your life. you need a guy that will love you for being you and love you as you are and not want to change you or give you alcohol to get you to do things. I know if you have feelings for him it will be hard to cut him out of your life but for you to be the great person that all of your friends know that you are, you need to drop him out of your life. and if he doesn't like that then he can just kiss your sweet ass. HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Me thinks we should invite this turkey to what in the Navy called a blanket party, with baseball bats as the party favors...
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Thanks Molly...but like everything in life...you learn from it and hopefully it makes you stronger.
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Me thinks we should invite this turkey to what in the Navy called a blanket party, with baseball bats as the party favors...
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Thanks Okie. I am working through the steps. We did talk, he apologized and I let him know that wasn't quite enough....but lesson learned.
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You can always call me as I can lend you my hear to hear what's on your mind my friend?
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One thing I have learned over the years is that people don't change very much, if any at all. You can be fairly sure this guy won't change either. People are who they are. We can't change them, and they won't change for us. If you don't like who they are, then leave them behind. It may not be what we exactly want, but it is what it is. Buster The Master Second star to the right and then straight ahead until morning...
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One thing I have learned over the years is that people don't change very much, if any at all. You can be fairly sure this guy won't change either. People are who they are. We can't change them, and they won't change for us. If you don't like who they are, then leave them behind. It may not be what we exactly want, but it is what it is.
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