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| Blogs > whitewhife4black > Vanilla Lady Loves Chocolate |
Fakes, Flakes, and Wannabees
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Fakes, Flakes, and Wannabees As anyone who has been in the lifestyle for more than a couple of weeks knows... the biggest problem we have is those that fall into the three categories in this entry's title. Yesterday, I believe we encountered one of the wannabees. We're a little vague on it, trying to determine whether this was was more flake than wannabee. What happened, the short version of the londer story is that Carol agreed to meet someone for lunch. After setting for two hours in the resturant exchanging pleasentries... Carol invited him back to our house to have more privacy and in her mind... to probably play. This occurred about 45 minutes before I was supposed to arrive home. According to Carol, almost instantly upon entering, he became quite nervous and uncomfortable and left within a few minutes. The assumption is that he is a wannabee who perhaps has spent considerable time on sites such as this in the hopes that he could arrange a meeting. Perhaps he had every intention of jumping into the pool but when Carol sat next to him on the couch and took his hand in hers... all of a suddent he realized that this was for real and the sheer shock that his fantasy was literally minutes away was too great. Most wannabees kick themselves for a long time after. They did have fun because their excitement level got raised so high that they had to step back and take a breath. Unfortunately... opportunities like this are rare and he may never again get up the nerve to set something up and even if he tries... there are so many other Fakes, Flakes, and Wannabees that he may never again get the opportunity. Of course, we wish him well in his future endeavors should he decide to try. Doubt highly if we would give him another chance... it would depend on what communications occurred (if any) after the fact. Of course, he will remain nameless. We do not 'go public' about people and what they do although we may create a blog entry such as this about it. The reason we think 'flake' may apply has more to do with the fact that the man drove in excess of 2 hours one way to get here. If this person is reading this know... please understand that we harbour no ill feelings. We have been inthe lifestyle for many years and this wasn't the first time something like this has happened nor will it be the last. There is a HUGE difference between a wannabee and a fake. However, sometimes you will never know because a wannabee will backout just before and either no-show or call with some lame excuse about why he can't make it. The fakes are by far the worst of the lot because their actions are milicious in nature. They get their rocks off by getting people to agree to a meet while they personally NEVER intend to meet in the first place. I just wish people would consider the effects of their actions. When you agree to a commitment, the person you make the date with often has to shift other things in their lives in order to accomidate you. Yesterday, Carol actually wanted to spend the day doing a little job searching because her current job has her on her feet sometimes 10 hours a day and her work shifts often conflict with my 'regular' 8 to 5/M-F gig. I haven't rellay described the ones we consider flakes but in general, there are the ones that want to play email and phone tag but never commit to meeting or, their is simply something 'weird' about them such as what I mentioned above about putting in driving time in excess of 4 hours for... well, nothing. After we encounter either a fake or a wannabee... we often spend a lot of time trying to figure out if we missed the warning signs. And, yes we did with this fellow. It's not so much that we missed them, but we ignored them. For example... one of the things that he asked me via email had to do with why I am not jeolous about Carol being with another man. Another was that, due to his distance away from us... that he was welcome to stay overnight and most 'real' guys love that shit but he definitely stated that "No, I'll just drive back. I don't mind the drive.". Another tell-tale signal was that he insisted that his meeting occur in a public place. Now, often, Carol will make that a requirement especially when the meeting gets scheduled when I'm not able to be there but it is VERY rare that a guy wouldn't jump on the idea of meeting in the privacy of a private home with a lady. And, it is clearly stated in our profile and in this blog that we are comfortable with entertaining at home. There are two other factors that make us extremely wary of someone and that is distance and his marrital status. I mentioned in a previous Blog entry that the most significant problem with married or otherwise 'attached' guys is that they can't be reliable even when they want to. Last minute "Honey, can you clean out the garage?" and what's the guy to do... tell his wife he has a hot date? Distance is another big factor with us. We re-entered the lifestyle in 2001 after being out of it since the mid 80s which was BEFORE the Internet. At the time, we were living in a large city and the ways people made contact back then typically resulted inalmost no distance issues. But now, we sometimes get contact by people who are not even in this country who want to meet. Our experience has been that anytime someone is over an hour's drive from us... there is less than a ten percent chance that we will actually meet when a meeting is scheduled. Up until the last 8 months or so... this was a major problem because we had a living at home so it was difficult to make last minute contacts plus the meeting was usually scheduled for a local club or resturant and we get there and while we wait... we end up blowing at least a $20 bill on drinks and snacks. This, perhaps more than any other reason is why we allow people to come directly to our home to meet. When we have plans, we set around and 'relax', watch some TV, drink store bought drinks... and if he no-shows or cancels... we're cool about it and just finish the show that we're watching. Of course... the final bottom line about this is.. that yesterday... some guy out there missed out on fucking Carol. |
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9/11/2008 5:25 am |
That is too bad my friend. Have a great day today anyways. [post 977684] [post 1673788] [post 1567265] [post 2508587] [post 2511504] [post 2589132] Are You Ready For........[post 2587359] Check it out & particpate!! The BHL Blog Interviews...[post 2597695] The BHL Blog Index.......[post 2594103]     
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