Online Video Article Offers Truer Reality Picture Of Swinging - a Blog Post by humorlife

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4929 posts
4/29/2015 12:55 pm

Online Video Article Offers Truer Reality Picture Of Swinging

There’s no nudity – not even a coy side shot – in a Huffpost Live video piece on attending swing clubs titled “What Really Goes On At Sex Clubs?” Nonetheless, the four clothed panelists all offer naked slices of life regarding lifestyle events, and the result is content which rings truer than a lot of the snicker-into-your-fist depictions featured in various television programs.

The online video features four panelists, one of whom runs a club, two who attend them, and one who is a sex therapist encourages attendance by people with healthy outlooks on their sexuality.

Anchor Nancy Redd, an outsider looking in, does the swinging community a solid by mentioning the “female first” approach many in the lifestyle take. The topic itself could have been further fleshed out, but given the video’s 21:30 running time, and the variety of topics covered, that it was mentioned at all is a plus.

I won’t provide a transcript, or go much beyond hitting the highlights: The video is worth viewing. But the lifestyle comes off quite well: Kenny Blunt, who co-founded Chemistry NYC (an “erotic events” hosting operation) adroitly describes the application process for participants, and assures those unfamiliar with such events that he does his best to “avoid a creepy environment.” While I understand that he has a business to promote, I would have liked to have heard him assert more definitively that sexual play is never guaranteed – these are swing parties, not bordellos.

As it happens, others make that point, and then take the conversation beyond it. Adult films actress and sex educator Nina Hartley, who has been going to sex clubs for more than three decades, talks about the demographics changes the swinging community has undergone since she started participating. And Stephanie Sellars, a filmmaker and Chemistry NYC patron who seems to be in her late 20s/early 30s, provides another consumer’s perspective about playing as part of a couple (they play together as well as separately, and they have had a lot of conversations).

Rounding out the panel is therapist Constance Quinn, who urges participants to rely on the three Cs – communication, consent, and condoms.

The folks on this panel are generally enthusiastic about swinging, but they’re careful to note that it’s not for everyone. Presented with a question about monogamy in marriage, Sellars acknowledges that there are couples who will want to be exclusive, while others won’t.

“There are many different ways to have relationships, and to have erotic connections,” she says. “If you have erotic connections with multiple people, it doesn’t mean that you love your partner any less.”

The video presents a number of touchy issues folks in the lifestyle face. Asked about why married people might need to swing, Hartley says that “Non-monogamy isn’t better than monogamy: It either is your sexual nature or it’s not.” She also offers a most apt metaphor involving strung beads and a neck chain – beads are those swingers play with, while the chain, the person you have meals with, go to school parent-teacher meetings with, nurse through sickness, and see through tragedy, are the chain.

If I have any significant quibble with the piece, it’s with an answer Quinn gives regarding couples having problems going to sex clubs. To my ear, Quinn isn’t fast enough to say that couples with problems are probably the last people who should go to such clubs: They ain’t therapy, and most patrons don’t want to deal with the drama. The couples and single people who go to these clubs are going to have a good time, not to serve as ancillary therapist. I wish she’d hit that point harder.

But Quinn does offer a quote which sums up a lot of my own feelings about sexuality. Quoth the doctor: “The level of conversation we are having in this country still about sexual health and pleasure leaves a lot to be desired.” Right on, Dr. Quinn.

I’ve deliberately remained vague about the specifics of what each panelist says: The video offers a truer “real swingers” look than, say, A&E’s recently canceled swinger reality show. Is the video all-inclusive? Of course not. But it does offer a more realistic view into the swinging world. Aside from the subject matter, it’s a pretty standard talking heads roundup. The audio, of course, makes it very not safe for work.

In the privacy of one’s own home, it’s worth watching.

Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic

sweet_VM 65F

81699 posts
4/29/2015 12:58 pm

ty HG will have a look hugsssssssssss V

Become a blog watcher sweet_vm

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