Critics Agree: A&E Reality Show Manages To Make Swinging Boring - a Blog Post by humorlife

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4929 posts
3/28/2015 1:24 pm

Critics Agree: A&E Reality Show Manages To Make Swinging Boring

When a PG-13 network takes on an X-rated subject, the writers must step up and create scenarios (and dialog) that crackles, in order to replace the sex it can’t show. Unfortunately, reality shows don’t offer that level of flexibility… and even if they did, it takes a knowledgeable writer with a strong sense of nuance to bring more than superficial takes to a topic.

The critics have weighed in on the A&E network’s “Neighbors With Benefits” -- an ostensibly reality-based take on swingers in suburban Ohio -- and the show has been found wanting. In “This reality show about married swingers is crazy, but for the reason you think,” The Washington Post notes “for a ‘controversial’ show about swinging and sex, it goes an incredibly tame route. Instead of delving into scandalous topics, it chooses to focus much of its first episode on swinger etiquette. Because that’s what viewers really want to know when they tune in to this kind of show, right? Rules and regulations.”

To step back, rules and regulations and etiquette are important in swinging. Without ‘em, this potentially emotionally charged activity can devolve into a lot of bruised egos, busted relationships, and even the occasional broken nose. But people -- singles and couples alike -- don’t get into swinging for the drama: They get into it because they enjoy this type of variant sex, and “Neighbors With Benefits” seems to skimp on the enjoyment part.

As for the rules themselves, another review, on Variety’s site (“TV Review: Neighbors with Benefits”), claims that “The premiere... doesn’t even do a particularly good job of laying out the rules, such as they are.” Variety adds that “the real takeaway is just another reminder that attempts to conjure drama with reality shows often feel pretty pallid next to their scripted counterparts.”

That sounds about right. Most people know that the axiom that truth is stranger than fiction. And that can be correct, if one focuses on the occasional<b> bizarre </font></b>bit of truth. But when one considers a randomly chosen half-hour or hour, a TV show can pack in a lot more strangeness -- and, therefore, entertainment -- than true life. Or, as a friend is fond of saying, “If you want realism, go down to the corner and watch traffic.”

Entertainment Weekly’s Gillian Telling takes a swing at encapsulating the rules -- at least, the rules she was able to glean as a result of watching the program, as opposed to any true rules about swinging which were clearly stated.

As part of her review, “Neighbors With Benefits react: Reality swinging is (no surprise) cringe-worthy,” the rules she offers range from the valid (“Condoms are a must”) to the catty (“If you are a woman and go to a swingers party in suburban Ohio, you have to wear a tube top”) to the ignorant (“Unless you are really, really drunk and at a party with other really drunk people, this lifestyle is mostly just awkward and uncomfortable”) to the truly worthy of consideration (“Swinging is hard. Almost everyone on the show admits the lifestyle is not easy to get into or sustain”).

Telling knows damned well “Neighbors With Benefits” artificially plays up the drama. Why else would she highlight the presence of characters “staunchly opposed to the lifestyle, like...Mark, who looks like a bearded Brooklyn hipster and is into Jesus, and his cute wife Aimee who wants nothing to do with it.”

Side note: These bluenoses’ presence strikes me as artificially contrived as well. At minimum, it’s an example of the United States Federal Communications Commission’s Fairness Doctrine, which requires broadcasters to “both present controversial issues of public importance and to do so in a manner that was, in the “ to both present controversial issues of public importance and to do so in a manner that was, in the Commission's view, honest, equitable and balanced.” I want equal time to show the positive, pleasurable aspects of swinging on “The 700 Club.”

Most damning of all is Telling’s observation that “While any married couple [the show focuses on couples, thereby eliminating a significant portion of the swinging community] might understand the need for some variety or excitement in the bedroom after a while, something about “‘Neighbors With Benefits’ ends up being a real turn off from ‘the lifestyle.’”

Those wanting to be sure to be busy when “Neighbors With Benefits” airs should avoid the A&E network on Sundays at 10 p.m. ET -- at least for the near future.

Stop in, read, and offer comments at my "swinging as seen in the media" blog, "Confessions of a Lifestyle Man" humorlife, which is also the home of the monthly virtual symposium. New post: The Virtual Symposium Returns Lets Pick A Topic

bigboystwo2 53M

3/28/2015 1:42 pm

boring?

petitandnaughty 113F

9755 posts
3/28/2015 1:43 pm

Reality shows are not something that I like to watch. That show was not an exception - I didn't watch it and don't intend to do so.

There was TV show "Swing Town" (or something to that effect) on one of the prime time networks, a few years back. It was cancelled after one season because it ran out of drama the show tried to portray as part of the swinging lifestyle.

Until and unless a swinger, that lives the lifestyle, is at the helm of such shows, they will always project only negativity towards the lifestyle, imo.

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