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| Blogs > winnipegjewel13 > My Thoughts |
3am
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3am And I cannot sleep. Just got home from work a half hour ago. Too worked up and awake. Yet I am so tired I feel dizzy. Have to be up in 4 hours. Going to the new place to sit and wait for the cable guy and the phone guy to come. Both said between 8am and noon. Then I can go back to sleep for awhile. I am excited about the move. Can't wait, actually. Something new. Something different. Yet, I am sad to be leaving where I am. Being very reflective tonight, sitting here in the dark listening to the snore. 9 years I have been here. These walls have seen a lot of happiness, a lot of tears. Three of my beloved pets died here. All of old age, thank god. My surrogate mom lived two doors down, until she went into a seniors home. We had a path beaten in the grass between the two doors. I still feel sad when I look over at her door. I think of all the meals we shared here, the anxiety of life, the good times, the card games, green beer on St. Patrick's Day and Xmas eve the year my stove broke down at 8pm, and talking into the night. I am sitting here now, looking into the kitchen and remembering. And it is breaking my heart. I moved here not long after my husband passed on, and I remember laying on the couch the first night, sobbing and thinking of him. I felt so scared and alone in my new place. I cuddled up to my little Rosie and my two cats and we all laid there wondering what the future would bring. And now I am leaving here, on to a new chapter in my life. It is hard. HOME is a very important thing to me. I love nothing more than coming HOME at the end of the day. To all the things familiar and comfortable to me. I hope it does not take long for my new place to feel like HOME. I am moving to the country, and have never lived in the country before. It will seem quiet and dark. I think I will like that. There is many acres of property and I just know the kittens will love exploring, and there is a barn with some mice in it that they will particularly love. There are horses, and another for Shadow to play with. There is a place for BBQ's and an outdoor fire pit, something I have always wanted. I can sit on the sun porch and watch the rain. And best of all, I will be with my best friend! I can sit with my tea in the morning, and then do my job I do from home, and relax. I have a hot tub, and can soak my aching back. I can entertain and have people over to sit and have a drink in my giant yard. Yes, I think I am going to like this new move. I just have to be ready to say goodbye to my memories here. But that is the best part of memories, they go where ever you do. They are always with you. It feels like letting go of something..... and I am not too good at that. Yet...... life goes stagnant if you don't move on just a little bit, doesn't it? So now I will lay here and try to sleep, and try to be prepared for my new HOME. Because, HOME is where your heart is and what you make of it. Isn't it?  |
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Take your memories with you Jewel and chariest them.Good luck in the new place
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Cheer up it will feel like your home in no time, moving is a stressfull business      Is life getting you down? Then Come to My Blog!  [blog 05realman21] You will leave with a smile! Check out my profile to find out what a REALman is like! Click here! Join my alien group and get a free anal probe from Splurgee! Click here! Realman & Splurgee Agony Aunts
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5/29/2009 7:38 am |
Hun, I know you are going through a ton of stress right now. Once you are moved into your new place, you will have fun setting everything up the way you like it. And then once that is done, the place will feel like it is yours. You will enjoy the peace that country living will give you. Just think of hearing the horses, the wildlife, the sound of the breeze rustling through the trees. Wow...can I move in with you???? You are feeling nostalgic, and that can be painful. Leaving a place you have spent a good part of your life in isn't easy. But, like you said, home is where your heart is......and the memories you bring with you will always be there! Luv ya hun, and look forward to many good times in your new HOME!
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5/29/2009 6:57 pm |
Good luck with everything! Le Duc De Earl Tantric Yogi Wannabe
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Your new place sounds awesome!!!! Lucky you Jewel. You are going to get settled in and just love it I bet. I know what you mean about changes. I am bad for that too but I find that when the change is done it is for the better. And you will always have your memories. Have a great summer!!! hot tub huh? jealous sigh.... xoxo Able202
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Weird that this entry would come as a new blog. Ah well Nice to read it again. Hope you are happy and doing great Jewel. Hugs and wishes for lots of happiness... Able202
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