10813 posts 5/13/2012 9:45 pm
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Weekend Update.....
Okay, wow, I was almost having withdraws from not being on here all weekend with ya'll so here I am, I thought I'd catch you all up..... For those whom of you even care.
Okay, so Friday night I decided, Fuck it, it's my birthday weekend, I'm going to go do something for me. So I was getting dressed, and I decided to go to the strip club and at least enjoy some naked bodies. Seems some strippers have a thing for a guy wearing a leg brace..... they must have smelt disability money or pain meds, I'm not sure which. So one hot little number comes and sits with me and talks, and then she talks me into a lap dance, What the fuck, it's payday, I've got a little extra, and I haven't had someone rub against me in months.
She did a VERY good job, I had to contain myself, I almost left my mark upon her crotch. Her set is done, I hobble back to my table in the corner next to the side stage. I enjoy watching the ladies and soon she's up to dace, she gets to the side stage, I go over and get more face full of titties and poon, I pay her properly and then she asks me, what I'm doing when I leave here. I said most likely just going home and jerking off thinking about her. She laughed and then asked why jerk off when I could just have the real thing. ..... I'm sorry, did I just hear her correctly? ..... She says she can get off early if she meets her Lap dance quota and can pay off her shift. I told her I didn't know and I'd have to think on it.
She goes off to the other stage to finish her set, and then comes back to find me. Asks me if I've thought about her offer. Do I have a Dick? YES I've thought on it, I'm so damn horny I'd just about fuck anything, I do have standards. I said Sure, what the hell. So she does her thing, and damn she's good. We talked about things to do when she gets out of here, how it's gonna go down, and ol' MO here is like hell yeah, out of the dry spell. I get her the money to get out of there, she tells me to meet her up and the corner drug store in 20 minutes, I give her my number, and I'm about to get laid, No thanks to this place.
So I'm there, I'm waiting, I'm watching every car as if I'm a about to be reunited with my long lost or something. I'm texting my friend "T" and she's like "FINALLY THANK GOD AND HALLELUJAH!!!!! Now maybe you won't be such an asshole". People keep staring at me like I'm on crack or something. 20 minutes go by, 25 minutes go by T keeps telling me "she'll be there, she felt what you had, who could resist it?" 30 minutes, 35, 45 minutes and I'm now pissed. She's got my number, her phone works I saw her on it. So I drive back up there, T said maybe she got held and couldn't leave. I make it there just in time for Roll Call, and she's no where to be seen. Now I'm livid, I just got duped by a stripper.
So needless to say Friday night was a bust.
I wake up early Saturday went into work for a few hours, lounge around, stew a little over the fact of how I was duped, Watched some TV, Read my book "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" .... by the way, I highly suggest reading it, Tucker Max is a GENIUS!!!!! And I get a Text from Coworker saying how plans have changed for the cookout due to bad weather and that the temperature of the pool has dropped. We'll be going over to her mothers place and just have Margaritas there. I try to find out what time as I'm already headed to the Liquor store to purchase top shelf tequila to ensure she gets good and loosened up.
As I send a picture of the VERY large amount of tequila (2.5 liters) to her with the response, "Oh my it's big" DAMN SKIPPY you know I am.... I mean it is  and of course I bought bottom shelf tequila for the moochers of the crowd. After all it's a Party for me and her mother's husband. We were both born on the same day 30 years apart.
She was very shocked that I had actually bought the liquor for my own party, but she loves it when I buy her the good stuff..... what woman doesn't. Later we all get together, just a small crowd, not a lot of us. Coworker, Hero, The Friend, Ma and her husband, and later we are briefly joined by the Deuce Bag and then his wife came and stayed.
I brought my blender as that it's professional grade and could grind a cinder block and still make awesome drinks right after. I am once again the master of the libations and ensure that everyone gets drunk. After all, It's my party and I'll get you drunk if I want too. Although there was someone there I wish to never get drunk as she becomes VERY pushy upon me, and not even all the Tequila in the Liquor store could get me on top of her, and sure as hell not under her as that I wouldn't survive to tell the horrific story of it. But she still demands me to kiss her even if I try to pull away, grabbing my balls, smacking my ass and twisting my nipples like volume buttons.
Now coworker, The Friend and Deuce Bag's wife have been planning a trip to go to Florida this coming weekend and a "Girls Trip" and Coworker suggests that I come along. Now first off this excites me because 1) I'd be most likely sharing a bed with her. 2) It was her Idea, not the other. 3) She sent me a text trying to be silent but saying "If you come to FL you can F me." ..... JACK POT WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!!
I continue making margaritas and strawberry daiquiri's for everyone. I have polished off the good stuff within 2 1/2 pitchers, Now out of margarita mix and Coworker doesn't like the strawberry stuff. So who's the one that's gotta go to the store, ME, only because she gave me that look ..... I must be a sucker or something. I'm light beyond the capabilities of being a responsible driver and wouldn't you know it, there's a rode block just outside the complex, and I have to think fast. I remember a way to go the opposite direction through another complex, but I've only done it once, during the day, years ago.
Well I make I to Wal-mart as Coworker sends me a text saying the Friend needs cigarettes. I tell her she (Coworker) owes, but I would in NO WAY fuck the friend. She tells me to come to FL and she'll pay everything she owes. I tell her to just leave the party now, come to my apartment and I'll fuck her to where she'll never need a<b> booty call </font></b>again. I stumble to the register, get everything, and then some how make it back. And now there's even more people here, I don't know them, but the guy is funny as hell, and his chick is hot and keeps looking at me seductively. It has to be the tequila making me this damn sexy, it just has to be.
So now almost a gallon of tequila down between 3 fast drinkers and 2 slow drinkers, and the 3 girls are taunting me about going to Florida this coming weekend. The only thing I'm having a conflict on is getting the time off this late in the game while having a fully loaded schedule and a new intern starting Monday. We'd be gone Thursday Night to Monday. I'm the only specialist in our office that does what I do and do it as well, where there is only 1 other that halfway knows what I know. T keeps telling me I need to go down there and LAY IT ON Coworker and Lay It On Her GOOD!!!!!
So now I'm seriously thinking about going, but just somehow have to come up with a good "Get out of work" lie. I honestly don't call out of work, I haven't in 10 years. The only time I've taken off was 2 days a few months ago to get my mental shit together. Any good Ideas on how to call out of work? I was thinking of saying my mother is having surgery, but that could backfire if she comes into the office for a visit soon.
Today I woke up late, only a small headache (Very shockingly) and just proceeded to do nothing. I finished my book (VERY SHOCKINGLY) as that I'm not much of a reader. I never even finished a book in school, not even those easy 20 page books in elementary school. I went and got his second book "Assholes Finish First" and it's true, those guys do, and I want to be an asshole, I just need an even bigger asshole to be a wing man to make me look even better.
So that's the weekend update. That's the News, Goodnight, And Have a Pleasant Tomorrow.
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18009 posts 5/14/2012 4:32 am |
| Yeah, i know, but it's better to try and no then not and miss out, right? |
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Much Love, Respect and Great Adventures to Follow
Come Inside [blog massageman00]
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6060 posts 5/14/2012 8:24 am |
Brother, you should know the old addage about strip clubs...
"You may get screwed at the strip club but your definitely not getting laid."
So my apologies for the stripper dissing you bro. My heart goes out to ya on that one.
And I hope everything works well for you with coworker bro! Take a chance and hopefully Florida will be exceptionally nice to you this time of year!
Who can you call on to save the day?
Why none other than...
Agent 
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18009 posts 5/14/2012 5:37 pm |
Quoting whoisagentj:
Brother, you should know the old addage about strip clubs...
"You may get screwed at the strip club but your definitely not getting laid."
So my apologies for the stripper dissing you bro. My heart goes out to ya on that one.
And I hope everything works well for you with coworker bro! Take a chance and hopefully Florida will be exceptionally nice to you this time of year!
Hahahaha, yeah, I got screwed big time, but fuck it, it was worth it to feel something, lol
And Florida plans have changed, Deuce bag decided that they should stay at his mother-in-laws while down because they are too broke to even split a hotel, and if he knew I was there, then all hell would break loose. So not this go around. Plus "Women's Issues" have come about this week |
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Much Love, Respect and Great Adventures to Follow
Come Inside [blog massageman00]
Want a Bob? The Giveaway
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18009 posts 5/15/2012 6:38 pm |
| You can't take a pill mid period, I'd think you a woman would know that, lol |
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Much Love, Respect and Great Adventures to Follow
Come Inside [blog massageman00]
Want a Bob? The Giveaway
Got a burning question? Ask Bob
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18009 posts 5/16/2012 4:49 am |
| Yeah, okay, maybe you've got me there. But I know she doesn't use the pill, and if the had them it would throw suspension her way. The hormones in them throw off her other medications (yes this is a medical fact, we were looking it up one day at work) |
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Much Love, Respect and Great Adventures to Follow
Come Inside [blog massageman00]
Want a Bob? The Giveaway
Got a burning question? Ask Bob
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