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Webcam Experiment: Failure
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Webcam Experiment: Failure I've tallied the scientific data of last night's webcam experiment where I sat in front of my cam naked with a pair of horns on my head and a fetish collar...just to see who would notice me. The result...1 dude, 1 gal, and a whole lot of technical errors. Maybe I have to do something a little less subtle to attract attention...like, you know...set my pubes on fire or give myself a Jack Daniels enema. I once shaved my pubes on cam and finished myself off with a half a tube of lube to the delight of...noone. Am I doing anything wrong? Should I announce my web activity on cable tv before I get an audience that I can count with most of my fingers, or is it that people just don't want to watch dudes? Right now there are 343 men broadcasting their shenanigans on their cams, followed by 46 couples and only 12 women. There seems to be quite a fundamental difference here that I don't quite understand. An average looking woman can be sitting in front of her computer fully clothed and just checking email or googling her own name and there would be hundreds of lookyloos, gripped in the throws of utter suspense, waiting anxiously for her to take one more swig of her Pabst Blue Ribbon. Her double-wide is a mess, her husband is snoring like a -of-a-bitch on the couch behind her and her cat almost...but not quite...knocks a Star Trek commemorative plate off the shelf. Will she glance at Oprah on tv again, or will she call her friend, Lorainne? Hundreds of drooling dweebs are just dying to know. I wipe the drool from my chin and tear myself away from from the drama unfolding with the sleeping husband and the cat getting into everything to check out what my competition is doing. I scroll down to see that just about every last one of them (343, remember) are<b> flogging </font></b>their dongs to audiences of ones and zeros. (meant both as a computer cyberspace binary code reference and the actual numbers of people watching them). Good to know that I wasn't alone in my sad endeavors or that I'm not a hidious freak that no one would ever want to look at. My problem was exactly what I figured...too few women...too many guys hoping to live the American Dream...and that is to bop the baloney in front of his cam and maybe...just maybe one day millions of adoring women, couples, or gay men (depending on what you're looking for) will be gripped in a state of unbridled awe and give the lonely web performer a standing ovation as he crescendos into his own anxiously awaiting belly button. It is here in this little corner of cyberspace, behind every window, behind every door, stories unfold and people with webcams are getting kicks from things the rest of the world will never know. Maybe I'll turn my cam on.  |
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8/7/2005 6:09 am |
I will watch your cam anytime baby but hell, it is nothing like the real thing.
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"and her cat almost...but not quite...knocks a Star Trek commemorative plate off the shelf." LOFL!!! That would have a pretty frakkin' high percentage of a lot of dweebs *I* know glue to their monitors, woman or no! Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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"and her cat almost...but not quite...knocks a Star Trek commemorative plate off the shelf." LOFL!!! That would have a pretty frakkin' high percentage of a lot of dweebs *I* know glued to their monitors, woman or no! [image] live long, and prosper! Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale Her infinite variety. Other women cloy The appetites they feed, but she makes hungry Where most she satisfies. For vilest things Become themselves in her, that the holy priests Bless her when she is riggish. ~~ from Antony & Cleopatra
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