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HAD TO LEAVE YOU LAUGHING....
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HAD TO LEAVE YOU LAUGHING.... I know that I should be packing, but didn't want to leave you all on a depressing note. Hope that you enjoy the following..  A lady goes to the doctor to see about getting a facelift. Well, says the doctor, "I can do the facelift, and then you'll have to come back in six months for a follow up." "Oh, no," the woman replies. "I want it all done in one shot. I don't want to have to come back." The doctor thinks for a second, then offers, "There is a new procedure where we put a screw in the top of your head. Then anytime you see wrinkles appearing, you just give it a little turn, which pulls the skin up, and they disappear." "That's what I want!" exclaims the lady. "Let's do that." Six months later the lady charges into the doctors office. "Well, how's the procedure holding up?" the doctor asks. Terrible! the lady bellows. It's the worst mistake I've ever made. "What's wrong?" asks the doctor. Just look at these bags under my eyes!" she hollars. "Lady, the doctor retorts, "Those aren't bags, those are your breasts. And if you don't leave that screw alone, you're going to have a beard!" ---------------------------------- A woman went in to see the doctor and said, "Doctor, I have a problem. Every time I sneeze I have an orgasm." The doctor said, "Oh, really, what have you been doing for it?" The woman replied, "Snorting pepper." ------------------------------------- A guy walks into a clinic to have his blood type taken. The nurse goes about taking his blood sample from his finger. After finishing, she looks around for a piece of cotten to wipe away the excess blood. She can't find it so she looks innocently at the guy and takes his finger and sucks it. The guy i so pleased he asks; "Do you think I could have a urine test done?" ---------------------------------------- A man is lying in bed with his wife, reading a book. He reaches down to tease her<b> pussy. </font></b>You want sex, Babe?" she asks "No", he replies I'm just wetting my fingers to turn the pages. ----------------------------------------- A guy has been asking the prettiest girl in town for a date and finally she agrees to go. He takes her to a nice restaurant and buys her a fancy dinner with expensive wine. On the way home,he pulls over to the side of the road in a secluded spot. They start necking and he's getting pretty excited. He starts to reach under her dress and she stops him, saying she's a virgin and wants to stay that way. Well, OK," he says. "how about a blow job?" "Yuck", she screams, I'm not putting that thing in my mouth." He says, "Well then how about a hand job?" "I've never done that," she says. "What do I have to do?" Well, remember when you were a and you use to shake up a coke bottle and spray your brother with it?" She nods. "Well, it's just like that." So, he pulls it out and she grabs hold of it and starts shaking it. A few seconds later, his head flops back on the headrest, his eyes close, snot starts running out of his nose, and he screams out in pain. "What's wrong?" she cries out Take your thumb off the end!!" |
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Ouch
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 Hurry back.    The perversity of the universe is unbounded.
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8/27/2007 2:24 am |
Hi Bonnie--I wish you well (& patience) on your move..Never an easy task.. Be Safe/Warm Hugs--Bill I came into this world with nothing, and I have most of it left~~
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8/27/2007 6:03 am |
L M A O lol lol gr8 jokes keep them coming . have a gr8 move and post soon luvs
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Bonnie, Thanks I can always depend on you for a smile.I wish you luck with the move.I do hope that someday we can sit a talk a while.Be safe and take care.Hugs and Kisses..love you..Rick
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