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No More Doggin
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No More Doggin I wonder if Rosco Gordon knew what it meant when he sang, "No more Doggin, foolin around with you." Maybe back then it didn't mean what it means now. I used to think I really understood the allure of having sex with someone you've only just met. It is certainly a potent fantasy, but in real life I have never tried it. Oh, ......well, actually I suppose I have, but not quite in the way the title of this post suggests, and anyway, that happened a very long time ago and is another story completely. I have Future Girl to thank for introducing me to Rosco by the way, and if you have never heard his 1950s version (there are several more polished recent ones, ) I urge you to look it up on the tube. For the musically inclined it has the most incredibly loose shuffle beat, almost hinting at ska, and a saxophone solo which, like the one on Ray Charles' "Mess Around," would be enough to make John Candy crash the car while steering with his knees. And it was something FG said to me the other day, coupled with something that has been going on recently, that made me realise something more specific about what it takes for me to be drawn to someone right now. Don't forget, this is not something I have been actively looking for - I just think I could let it happen if I were to get to know someone who creates the right feelings in me. Perhaps it is because I have spent quite a lot of time over the last five or six years fantasising about having an encounter with someone I already know either through these pages, or somewhere a whole lot closer to home. Or perhaps because I have become so fascinated by what I think of as the mental side of sex - "The Thoughts," as Rose used to call them - that I now think it is often the long slow anticipation that really creates that wonderful head-spinning rush when it finally happens. About even the thought of it happening. It is true that not having sex for so long has made me want it badly, but it has not made me want it indiscriminately. Quite the reverse in fact. It would be easy if I could be what I once referred to as a "ruthless slut-fucker." But in fact to get me to even consider getting involved physically with someone now, I need to be intensely turned on by the mere thought of them, I need to care about what they want from any relationship with me, and they would need to understand me and make me feel comfortable about how we were relating to each other. If you add to that the fact that my craving is for a safe, caring, but secret lover: one who wants to be with me but doesn't want me to change the other part of my life, then I am "not asking for much" as Rose told me the other day, with a laugh. Which is probably why it doesn't happen. I must admit I do have someone specific in mind in trying to think this through, but I don't really know whether there is any chance of either of us to be able to let anything happen. All I know is that the way I feel right now, I would be happy if I could lie back and just feel her kissing me. No more than that – or at least maybe to feel her pressed against me too. To be able to stop worrying about how I feel, or how she feels and to hear her telling me it's okay, she's here, she understands. That would be enough for me. For now at least. |
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 Respond to every call that excites Your Spirit ~Rumi  ..
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Have you at least hinted to her how you feel?  
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Have you at least hinted to her how you feel?
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Sometimes waiting makes it so much better once you get it.  Read about my escapades and adventures (with a few fantasies thrown in) here. ---->>>> StellaGraceSavoy
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Sometimes waiting makes it so much better once you get it.
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