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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
She said to me "That's the biggest penis I've ever seen !"
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She said to me "That's the biggest penis I've ever seen !" And I said to her "I know , that's why I brought you to the penis museum" . In a meeting the other day a lady was giving a status report and we were running short on time so the dude who was supposed to give his report after he says "No one cares about your report would you stop so I can go ?" This was not well received . But the worst part ? He's right , no one does care about her report - it doesn't effect anything , it's just that everyone has to do it you know ? When someone is being an asshole it's always worse to me when their assholery is basically what everyone is thinking . As far as I can tell being in a relationship largely consists of doing things you don't want and slowly building resentment for such until you do something like "accidentally" throw away one of her Care Bears that she's had since she was 8 . Probably the one that got me the most in terms of resentment was going to the farmer's market . "40 that doesn't seem so bad ." I know , and that's what makes it so bad you know ? Follow me on this , when your partner asks you do something you AB-SO-LUTE-LY hate you can kind of handle it you know ? Because they know what they're asking . But then there's other things that are like the perfect resentment builders because they're not a big enough deal to make an issue of right ? The farmer's market is number one on my list for that . First of all you have to get up early on a Saturday . Fuck that noise . Secondly there's dogs all over the place and dogs are stupid and I hate them . Apparently that's a thing - just taking your to the farmer's market . And thirdly I'm going to stand in a line for 30 god damn minutes for a fucking breakfast burrito that isn't even that good . One time many years ago I was engaging in some resentment-building gardening . Things hadn't gotten off to a great start because she seemed to be assuming some level of gardening knowledge that there was no reason to assume . This an exaggeration for effect but it felt to me like this is what happened - "What do you what me to do ?" "Garden" Anyway , so I was standing there will a shovel kind of poking around doing a whole lot of nothing and we were chatting , I don't remember about what . And I asked a question and she responded and then after a beat she said "Wait , do you think I'm stupid ?" And I said after a beat "You are soooooooo pretty" Terrible . And the worst part is I didn't think she was stupid , I was just being a jerk because I was "forced" to garden . My attempts to get a regular flag-day get together with the gang have failed so my new plan is to see if I can get a tradition going where we celebrate Canadian thanksgiving , since despite what sitcoms would have you believe , you generally don't hang with your crew on thanksgiving since that's family time . People seem into it this year , but will it stick ? I sure hope so . I realize that as the single unmarried person in the group this is an attempt to desperately try to keep us together as they drift farther away into their 40deuceless lives but that realization doesn't stop me from wanting to try . The problem is that this year Canadian thanksgiving is the same day as Columbus Day and some people might think we're celebrating that . Which is no bueno . I'm making the turkey and stuffing and the traditional Canadian thanksgiving treat Nanaimo bars .  Ingredients Bottom Layer ½ Cup unsalted butter ¼ Cup sugar 5 Tbsp. cocoa 1 egg beaten 1 ¼ Cups Graham wafer crumbs ½ Cups finely chopped almonds 1 Cup coconut Middle Layer ½ Cup unsalted butter 2 Tbsp. and 2 Tsp. cream 2 Tbsp. vanilla custard powder 2 Cups icing sugar Top Layer 4 squares semi-sweet chocolate (1 Oz. each) 2 Tbsp. unsalted butter Procedure Bottom Layer 1.Melt first 3 ingredients in top of double boiler. 2.Add egg and stir to cook and thicken. 3.Remove from heat. Stir in crumbs, coconut, and nuts. 4.Press firmly into an ungreased 8" x 8" pan. Middle Layer 1.Cream butter, cream, custard powder, and icing sugar together well. Beat until light. 2.Spread over bottom layer. Top Layer 1.Melt chocolate and butter over low heat. Cool. 2.Once cool, but still liquid, pour over second layer and chill in refrigerator. Once set, cut into squares and serve. Enjoy. Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Remember most of my life when I didn't swear at all ? This morning at the grocery store (drink ! ) this dude decided he needed to complain to me , a random stranger , about the selection of teas and he said "I want Guayak Yerba Mate" and I said "I want to buttfuck Christina Hendricks but that ain't happening either" . Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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9/30/2018 8:23 am |
good comeback love that and it shuts up the fucktards that want to think everyone is into their frame of mind because the selection of stuff is either too big or too small...too traditional or too exotic..wtf would happen if the selection of things was just fucking right? Well there be chaos, pandemonium and hair loss , speech loss and fuck knows what else would ensue ..lol..glad I drink red rose tea...lol
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Wait! you don't like Farmers Markets, dogs or gardening? 
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That's funny because I keep thinking I "should" go to the farmer's market (since most of my healthy-eating friends do so) but no - me getting up early enough to do that is just not happening. Now I'm trying to recall if there were any normal things that I was resentful of in my LT relationship. Mostly just having to watch shows like Stargate and Deep Space Nine, I guess.   
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Good question, I guess I usually was sort of doing other things...reading or looking through catalogs that came in the mail that day, or whatever. I suppose if it was today, I'd be surfing the internet on my laptop. Didn't have a laptop back then, OR a smart phone!
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