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Anyone have a tacky size 10 prom dress ?
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Anyone have a tacky size 10 prom dress ? Did you know that adults getting together for "prom" parties is a thing ? Maybe I should go to one since I never went to prom when it was age appropriate . I do know that there's three stages of prom . Pre-Prom Pre-Prom is a term used to describe the months leading up to a large school dance such as Prom , Formal or the like . Pre-Prom is important because of the planning aspects . This is the time when dates are found , limos are reserved , lies are equipped , dresses and tuxedos are rented (or made if you're poor as shit) and schools deliver rousing presentations on why the consumption of alcohol leads to instantaneous death . Prom Sweaty men pawing at sweaty girls , girls crying over men , men crying over not getting any , and teachers crying over losing students . . . what's not to love ? NOTHING After-Prom After-Prom is a roughly ten hour period where awkward sex (for virgins) , awkward sex (for non-virgins) , drinking , drug-consumption and more gangster occur . After-Prom can result in either death , loss of brain cells , a girlfriend , a , AIDS/HIV , Chlamydia , Gonorrhea , (Genital) Herpes , Syphilis , Hepatitis B , Genital Warts , Crabs , Herpe-gono-syphil-AIDS or Gono-Herpe-Syphil-itis , an addiction (to sex) and/or a blank memory . It is recommended that all photograph machines used during prom are broken just prior to the start of after-prom , and an STD test is taken post-after-prom . So last night my buddy JoJo Dustball invited me out to dinner and when I get there he's all these pieces of paper and notebooks and whatnot on the table so I says to him I says "Hey JoJo what's with all this stuff ?" And he says to me that he's been taking stand-up comedy classes for the past several months and he's preparing for his final which is where you get some stage time at a local club and actually perform . I was friggin' floored . JoJo has never shown any indication that he liked watching stand-up let alone performing it . We've been best friends for almost 30 years now and I was completed caught off guard . And it made me happy because it's a reminder that people can always surprise me . Unfortunately he asked me out to dinner so I could help him with this material . Now whether you think I'm funny or not (I'm not) I do know the "science" of comedy . And his stuff was weak . As weak as you'd expect from someone who would take a stand-up comedy class . I tried to help him but he was looking for jokes and I'm not really a joke guy . Example he said he wanted his big closer to be something with the set-up of "I'm allergic to catfish" and then he wanted me to come up with a punchline . What the hell am I supposed to do with that ? That's barely a premise . Plus as I said jokes aren't really my kind of humor . My kind of humor is going online and catfishing someone into giving me $5000 . See , it's funny because its fraud ! LOL right ? So it was mildly awkward . On the plus side I came up with a new term for oral sex on a lady "tickling the butterfly" . Please adopt this immediately and stop saying "eating pussy" forever . I hate that term . When I (and you also I assume) log off of Senior Sizzle , Hookup, Find Sex or Meet Someone Hot Now , I am treated to various advertisements about how to make any woman squirt , how to bang a different chick ever night , pills that will "let" me fuck for 5 hours without cumming (which is good why ? ) video games that will make me cum 2-3 times in 5 minutes and so forth . They're usually mildly amusing . The most common advertisement though is for penis enlargement though various methods . The one they have now is hilarious . The method ? Just yank on it . The end . This ad claims that I can add 2 inches of my cock merely by threading it through a loopy deal and then just pulling down on it real hard . It's like they're not even trying anymore . If you're a dude you're probably think "He-he I already pull on my cock all the time" NO ! That is not a good joke . Go back to stand-up comedy class . It sounds like some kind of backdoor BDSM shenanigans to me . I feel like this was dreamed up by a lady who's into dick torture but her man wasn't going for it so she says "It will make you dick bigger" and hey presto she gets what she wants . You women are so sleazy - you'll say anything to get what you want sexually . In October of 2015 I posted my script outline for Jurassic War the 5th Jurassic Park movie . It was one of my most commented upon and beloved blog posts ever . I'm starting to work on the outline for my next script - Castaway 2 , The Castening . In the first act Chuck Noland is back in the world and he's having a hard time adjusting . The world has moved on without him . He tries to reconnect with friends and family but he just can't . Things have changed and there's no going back . He's deathly afraid of flying so he takes a desk job at FedEx which he soon grows to hate - he's a glassy eyed hopeless office drone in no time flat . One night hey gets drunk sitting out on his car looking at the stars . He realizes that he never should have left the island that he was meant to die there . He resolve to get back to the island , it's implied that he plans to kill himself when he gets there . Act two - Not knowing exactly where the island is he takes a job as the captain of a container ship working the route in the general area where he knows the plane went down so he can search for it . Several years pass as he visits different islands by re-routing the ship claiming he has to due to storms or other conditions . His bosses are getting tired of his erratic behavior and he's on the verge of getting fired when his ship is boarded by Indonesian pirates . Realizing that piracy would be an even better situation to search for the island he ask to join them . They laugh until he kills the pirate captain with a fire ax . He's allowed to join . Act three - Chuck is covering more ground as the pirate leader but they too are beginning to doubt his methods . They're planning to kill him . One morning Chuck wakes up and all the pirates are gone without a trace - the ship is completely devoid of any other life . All their gear is still there as are the escape boats - he can't fathom what has happened to his crew . Without any help to run the ship he's quickly at the mercy of the sea . For days he drifts until lashed by a terrific storm . The storm pounds his pirate vessel mercilessly . For a few moments he sees another ship - one with this symbol ;  He signals them but either they can't see of they choose not to respond . His ship goes down . He wakes up to see Wilson before him . For a second he's overjoyed before he realizes that he's on a raft wearing rags and has a long scraggly beard . What's happening ? Was it all a dream ? Did he never escape the island at all ? Dazed and confused he slowly drifts to an island - THE island . He staggers ashore and surveys the land . Moments later a plane flies overhead and drops a large pallet of supplies with the Dharma Initiative symbol . With it is instructions for constructing an underground complex . Numbly Chuck picks up a shovel and starts digging . We close in on Wilson's "face" which shifts and turns into a wide bloody smile . We hear a familiar clicking noise and we see a small trail of smoke coming out of Wilson's inflate-hole . Also if you though there wasn't a Castaway porn parody you were wrong . Dead wrong . But you're probably too smart by now to think that . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Let's see you come up with a punchline for "I'm allergic to catfish" Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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I feel your pain, that sounds like the time my coworker wanted me to critique a draft of the novel she was writing  Well, at least he's trying something different.I never went to prom either. Sometimes they have these "adult prom" events here at a nightclub or brewery or something, but they're still for YOUNGish adults, like people who missed going to prom in the 90's. So I've never been to a fake prom either.   
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The prom taught us guys that if you dressed up nice enough, you were pretty much guaranteed to get laid.  I'm allergic to catfish but that's OK. I'm really a dogfish type person anyway... 
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"I'm allergic to catfish" "I don't know why my wife keeps asking to go noodling." Vive La Difference
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Saw the Lost thing coming a mile away. Ether you are too predictable or I am too smart... Embrace the suck
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Of course, the answer is you are predictable. Because if I was smart, I wouldn't be reading this fucking blog! Now THAT is a punchline. Embrace the suck
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40Deuce replies on 5/13/2017 5:55 pm: Noodling ? It's when you go fishing for catfish by sticking your hand into the holes they reside in. from Wikipedia. Method Although the concept of catching fish with only the use of the arm in the water is simple enough, the process of noodling is more complicated. The choice of catfish as the prey is not arbitrary, but comes from the circumstances of their habitat. Flathead catfish live in holes or under brush in rivers and lakes and thus are easier to capture due to the static nature of their dwelling. To begin, a noodler goes underwater to depths ranging from only a few feet to twenty feet and places his hand inside a discovered catfish hole. If all goes as planned, the catfish will swim forward and latch onto the fisherman's hand, usually as a defensive maneuver, in order to try to escape the hole. If the fish is particularly large, the noodler can hook the hand around its gills. Most noodlers have spotters who help them bring the catfish in, either to shore or to their boat; noodling in pairs is considered important for safety, and also makes it a more social activity, with noodling partners often forming long-term partnerships. A typical weight for a flathead catfish caught by noodling is 40 lb (18 kg). Dangers Noodling can result in superficial cuts and minor wounds to the noodler. This can be reduced by wearing gloves and other protective clothing. Losing fingers is also a risk, whether from the bite or infection. Most holes are deep enough that diving is needed, so there can be a danger of drowning. A person with confident swimming abilities may be caught off guard by the sudden added strain of carrying a large fish to the surface. Spotters can alleviate this danger, but it is still present. A wounded noodler ten to twenty feet underwater might not be able to return safely to the surface and may drown. Clothes may get tangled or snagged on roots or rocks, so some noodlers wear only denim shorts. The greatest physical threat posed to noodlers, however, comes from other forms of aquatic life found in catfish holes. Far more dangerous than catfish are alligators, snakes, beavers, muskrats and snapping turtles, who will take over abandoned catfish holes as homes of their own. end quote. Vive La Difference
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who the hell sticks his hand in a hole where a fish with a forty pound head lives? men are nutz I have a size 6 prom dress in terrible condition I will ship COD. it's lime green. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
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