Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
40Deuce - a decade of excellence
|
40Deuce - a decade of excellence Or should I say SEXellence ? No , I should not . First thing's first , I saw a video the other day that consist only of a woman wearing a strap-on and stroking it like it was a real live dick . I thought I'd never seen anything more useless than a woman wearing a strap-on and other woman sucking it . How wrong I was . Who is that for ?  Did you know they're making a Taken TV show ? The first movie was great . The second movie was completely unnecessary but okay . The 3rd movie I never saw because Jesus dude , enough with the Taking . And now a TV show ? Give me a freaking break . So now it's only a matter of time before the TV show spawns a reboot of the movie franchise . Is there a Taken video game ? There has to be . I was startled to find out that I have been blogging this blog for 10 damn years . Which is kind of stupid when you think about it . Why don't I just get a real blog if I'm going to do this ? I've blogged in other places a couple times and it never really took off . Which as per usual exposes the hypocrisy of my claim that I just blog for the fun of blogging and I don't care of anyone reads . Here is my inspiring story . Back when I wasn't ostracized from society for not having a cellphone telephone I was on the pornsite because why wouldn't I be ? This was also back when free porn was harder to find BUT it also wasn't 100% an attack vector for malware . Those were good times . Anyway , I was porned out but I was bored , and this was back before I had cable (which is now obsolete) or anything else going on so I was just cruising around free porn site looking at all the stuff no one would ever look at - including the 'click her for our sponsors' . One of which was Senior Sizzle . I thought it was hilarious that people (dudes) would think they could get laid so easily so I thought I'd create a profile and kill some time . And then it worked ! I put my actual penis into the actual vagina of an actual woman in actual actuality . WTF right ? But that end pretty quickly and it turned out to be kind of a fluke and being on Senior Sizzle wasn't resulting in me getting laid 24/7 (that's 24 hours a week , 7 months a year) but clearly I had to be online so the sluts could find me so I was wandering around AFFland and I started with the groups . But they didn't like my non sequiturs , bad jokes and insane political rantings . Thankfully I found the blogs and I was home . Year 1 - Have you ever read Batman Year One ? It's pretty great . The year was 2006 . George W was president . People were pretty pissed . Russia and the Ukraine had major beef . Fiji water and the city of Cleveland got into a serious "thing" . A conducted a study that showed that the ice in fast food sodas is dirtier than toilet water (which sounds bad but toilet water isn't that dirty) . Kevin and Brittany called it quits . Kathryn Heigel was in a movie that made $30 - and this was before people hated her guts . My first blogs were all me whining about how I wasn't getting laid . What am I doing wrong ? How does this site work ? Waa-waa , I'm a stupid baby ! It's pathetic and sad and I am ashamed . All of those posts are deleted - because clearly people are going to go back and read blogs from 10 years ago right ? Only one survives . It's kind of okay . At this time I was a temp working 3rd shift for the Federal Reserve . It was a pretty good gig . Like all my temp assignments it ended when a new manager came in who was a real cunt . Later the site closed - that's what you get Francine ! Year 2 - Batman Year Two ? Not very good . They send a spacecraft to the Martian north pole on my birthday . I had sex with a lady who REALLY big tits . I mean really big . I often think/say I've never had unprotected sex with a lady vagina but I'm wrong because I did with her . She had a greyhound that was super annoying . She wasn't super fun to hang around with . People went crazy over Miss South Carolina who turned out not to be so bad . The greatest movie ever Megamind came out . They found a whale with a harpoon in it's head from the 1890s . How the hell long to whales live ? I have to imagine having a harpoon lodged in your whale-head cuts down on your life expectancy . Most dudes never progress beyond the whining about lack of sex stage of blogging . But I am not most dudes . I weight enough for two dudes , or even three these days since millennials are all shrimpy and skinny , I swear some of them are smaller than their man-buns . I moved into the next stage of blogging . Nonsensical rambling . Not many people read my blog at this point but many of them said it was "random" which I didn't like but there was nothing random about it . I suppose it seems random to them though . Year 3 - They tried to raise awareness of amphibian population decline . No one cared which is why there's no more frogs . There was an extra second , which I used to bang my girlfriend . Also I had a girlfriend . We played tennis and had tons of sex and watched TV . It was a pretty sweet set up . Ended horribly of course . My love of the NFL turned to bitter hatred . The FUCKING Dark Knight came out and rocked all our balls off . I saw it at least 6 times in the theater . I want to see it again in the big screen some day , somehow . The Mentalist was a top 10 show , proving that TV was reaching its nadir . My blog became "funny" and it actually was funny very rarely . I posted something about my girlfriend that I thought was funny , and was funny to others , but she didn't like it AT ALL . Possibly because I implied I was going to dump her . But it was all a joke . Women love it when you joke about them behind their back right ? That's when I realized that blogging about real life wasn't such a great idea . Year 4 - Some dude no one ever heard of won the US Open . People found out that Tiger Woods banged a bunch of ladies including a porn star and somehow this made him bad at golf . The longest solar eclipse in 100 years happened lasting 6 minutes and 39 seconds - which is also the length of my longest sexual encounter coincidentally . Chris Brown beat the shit out of Rhianna . My blog progressed from being rarely funny to being sometimes funny . Most of my classic bits come from this period . Oh , also I started having bits . I started having a real following at this point - by which I mean like 3 Canadian broads . I also started learning the rules of blogging . I posted a "funny" comment on a lady's blog one times and she ripped me a new asshole . This taught the important less than no one gives a shit - if you're going to a comment on a lady blog there are two acceptable comments "nice blog" and "I want to fuck your face" . Year 5 - The Year 2010 bitches ! Woo ! Colt Cabana was ranked the 101st best wrestler by PWI . The Greek economy imploded . Iceland literally exploded . Everyone was like "damn" when they saw Kaley Cuoco's tits . Chicks were into partially shaving their heads which was dope as hell although not as dope said Kaley Cuoco's tits . People said that Iron Man 2 wasn't very good and I punched them in their dicks because it was FANTASTIC . I started getting real weird with my blog . Blogging is like the married life of sex people , I mean the sex life of married people - at year 5 either they stop doing it or they start getting freaky . Boredom has set in and someone's getting something crammed up their butt . In blog form said butt cramming took the form of me adopting a supplementary persona , posting pictures of my internal organs , and inventing a whole storyline where I got married and joined the Navy . Year Six - I had sex with a lady with a huge tattoo of an elephant on her back . Global population reaches 7 billion . People briefly cared about Charlie Sheen for some reason . A dude pissed in a reservoir in Oregon so they threw away 7 million gallons of water . Bruno Mars did something with a grenade . I started settling down with my blog style . I met one of my blogfriends in real life ! It was crazy . One day I ate a bunch of onions and then was kissing all up on her and she was like "dudes that's a real asshole maneuver" and I realized that it was . We had sex one time and then before I even took my junk out of her stuff I got hard again and there was MORE sex . It was cray-cray . One of my old friend who had recently gotten out of the army came to stay with me fore a few days and I realized that my house sucks balls . It was a real bummer . The shine was off the . . . whatever that expression is . Year 7 - 2012 . The world ended . Only John Cusack survived . Actually he must not have because I haven't seen him any anything since then . Some dude did a space dive . Steven Hawking won a 3 million dollar physics prize and people were like "what ? that's a thing ?" The Dark Knight Rises came out and it wasn't very good . Disney purchased Star Wars for 88 grajillion dollars setting the stage for people to be able to like Star Wars again . The Pinta Island tortoise went extinct . I settled into a nice blog rut - just like the seven year itch when you're married . That's what that means right ? Year 8 - Lance Armstrong finally admitted he was a total asshole . Reese Witherspoon attacked a cop - and she seems so nice . Miley Cyrus freaked people out real good . I posted a 100% nude picture of myself and people were like "why would you do that" and I was like "I don't know" . Later I posted a video of me jacking off because some lady asked me to . No one was very into that - not the least of which why was because the video was awful . Year 9 - Everyone had a good laugh at Russia because the Sochi Olympics were such a debacle . Little did we know they would retaliate a few years later by rigging the election from Trump . Who's laughing now ? The US was like "maybe we should stop ruining Cuba , we've had a good run of doing that" . Guardians of the GOD DAMN Galaxy rocked everyone's balls off again . Gave me a real Star Wars feeling 'this means something" I said and my friend Chopper kicked me in the butt . Ariana Grande tweeted #bangbangintomyface but not because of the reason you think . Also Twitter was a thing . Patrick Stewart finally made everyone realize how stupid the ice bucket challenge was . Actually people still kept doing it but it was nice to know Captain Picard as on my side . I tried to start the towel challenge for diabetes research and people spit directly on me . I posted a video of myself having sex and people were like "please stop" just be "funny" like you used to they said . I was never funny is the problem . Year 10 - Ukraine and Russia had major beef . They developed an ebola vaccine which is cool but no one cared about Ebola anymore . Amy Schumer became and thing and then everyone was like "enough with Amy Schumer" . People went nuts over what color a dress was . Niki Minaj beat up Miley Cyrus . Probably some other stuff happened , I am majorly running out of steam , how long is the blog anyway , a 100 pages ? The blog you're reading right now is in this period . So I can't comment on it , because it's happening right now . It's like a whole thing . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
||||
|
Senility must be setting in, because I don't remember much of any of that - especially you posting a video of yourself having sex. Happy blogiversery! We must have started around the same time.   
| |||
|
Okay, now back to that strap-on....  Vive La Difference
| |||
|
wow, great blog. i learned something new, I thought getting laid 24/7 meant for 24 seconds 7 times a year. thanks for the info, i know now i am almost half way to getting laid 24/7
| |||
|
dude, change the meds. You cannot conceive the many without the one.
| |||
|
Quote, "Okay, now back to that strap-on...." "40Deuce replies on 12/26/2016 7:40 pm: That's what she said - literally" They do get bossy when they're wearing that extra gear don't they. Vive La Difference
| |||
|
Darn! I should've put the blog year and not the birth year on your In Blog We Trust coin! Year 7 ... the year of Super BJ! You missed that! Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
|
Become a member to create a blog
