Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Exploding butt plugs eight bucks each
|
Exploding butt plugs eight bucks each I'm not very good at giving gifts . They say it's the thought that counts but it's really not . And it's harder as a guy I think because trying to get clothes for a lady is a losing proposition . Sometimes people say if you really know someone it should be easy to get a gift for them - I guess that means I've never known any women . Which honestly seems about right . Did you know that if you don't follow the pre-colonoscopy procedure you increase your chances of blowing up . Yes , I said increase because there's always a chance that you'll blow up during a colonoscopy . Because they weren't unpleasant enough as is so "they" added the possibility (admittedly very small) that you'd blow up also just as an extra screw you . That's why you fart so much afterwards - they're constantly blasting CO2 as they look around in there to dilute any pockets of hydrogen or methane . Fun fact , that's the cause of the discomfort also - the probe itself is small enough it doesn't cause any discomfort , it's your bowels blowing up like a balloon that's unpleasant (also blowing up) . Speaking of farting an article online I saw the other day said that the average person farts 22 times a day - which seemed insanely high to me but a ton of people commented that seemed low , that it was more like 35 times a day . This all seemed like crazy talk , I don't even reliably fart every day I thought . So I decided to keep track . I was wrong . I didn't come near 22 but I definitely fart a lot more than I thought . Fun fact it's been "proven" that women's farts smell worse and that men fart more often - so it evens out . If you have the inability to hold down the job of lumber grading for more than 6 months let me know - I have a few tricks that can help you .  The discussion of performing oral sex on your boss for a raise came up again at work and as per usual people were getting things all mixed up . Going down on your to get a raise is 100% unethical but it is 100% legal - where thing's get tricking is whether or not its immoral . I would suggest for the person giving the oral sex it is not immoral but for the person getting the sex it is UNLESS that's how you're supposed to be giving our raises , like if you work in an oral sex factory . Although in that case it's probably also not unethical . Now I was in HR at an oral sex factory I wouldn't make raises based on performing oral on your boss - because different people like different things , it would be based on the feedback from the customers - that's just good business . A gal (or scammer , or robot , or catfisher) I was chatting with the other day said she would lick my dickhole . Which is a strange thing to say , strange enough it made me think maybe he was legit - I feel like if you're running a game on someone you'd just say you're suck their dick , lick your dickhole has a ring of authenticity . But perhaps that's the point , scammers can be shifty like that . And so the dance continues . I did wonder though , what if there was a girl who that's all she was into - she just wanted to lick dickholes . I would find that pretty frustrating , but as I often say , there's probably a dude out there who's into it - someone somewhere is into whatever you got going on . The toothbrush the dentist gave me lasted like two weeks before it started to get all busted out . And I thought that the dentist of all people would be handing out more durable brushes but then I realized I had that backwards . For all their haranguing and guilt trips it's in the dentists best interest for your teeth to be in the worst shape possible - that's how they afford their summer house and their 's riding lessons and their $4,000 non-returnable sex robot . It's like how they infect you with anthrax at the doctor's office to ensure return visits . Or how your crisis counselor follows you around and home invades you to make sure you need more sessions . It's just good business . Oh , this just for one person , everyone else can skip . If you're having issues with the cave play Endless One , Mimic , Matter Reshaper , Though See , Mindbender and then Reality Smasher . You're playing the Reality Smasher too soon .  It looks like she's wearing a red glove . Weird Science was on the other day . I realized I don't I've ever seen the end . What happens ? I think after Chet got turned into some kind of blob I checked out back in the day . Is anything ever explained ? Is the chick a genie or what ? Did she bang the two nerds ? What happened to Chet ? Did he join the Colonial Marines ? Is there a porn parody of Weird Science ? There has to be , its basically a porn plot - it's like reverse porn . That should be a thing , taking porn movie plots and turning them into real movies . There's a commercial on the radio for pizza and a 2 liter that said "perfect pair" about 47 times in 20 seconds . It's annoying in and of itself but also because it reminds me of the Perfect Pair porn franchise . As you all know the first porn movie I ever saw was Backdoor Lambada with my buddy Moochie - who had gotten it from Sideshow Sam who had gotten it from his brother . That's how you used to get porn back in the old days . Moochie forwarded through all the blowjobs because they were "gay" and commented that he didn't think the gal getting a 9 inch cock up her ass was really a virgin . He was an odd fellow that Moochie . The first porn I saw on my own was just called Threesomes and I remember thinking "man that is gross I don't think I'll ever be doing that" . The other thing I remember was in one scene the chick kept making the dude's dicks touch and one of them was getting really upset . I don't think that was scripted . But the first porn movie I was ever into was Perfect Pairs # whatever it was . Why does it annoy me to be reminded of this ? I don't know . One time there was this movie called Thor , it featured Thor . I didn't much like it , but that Chris Hemsworth is easy on the eyes eh ?  The other day someone asked me about said movie and I remarked that I didn't much like it and they said "but it was based on a comic book" and then they stared at me for a really long time and I go "I meant I did like it" and they seemed super relived . I mean what kind of a world would it be where the comic book guy doesn't like a movie based on a comic ? I often seen people coming to work hunched under a massive packback , carrying a lunch bag , a couple tote bags , a gym bag , a purse (or man-purse) , and a couple miscellaneous plastic bags and I wonder - what is all that shit ? Why do they need so much stuff to come to work ? I'm not sure I even have that much stuff in my house . What's the deal ? And finally , did you know that Kitten Heels are the new "it" shoe for fall ? If Audrey Hepburn were alive today she might wear Mansur Gavriel kitten heels . The style icon was a leader of the low heel movement in the 1960's when the look was popularized as a political rejection to the stiletto . And now the kitten heel is back , with brands like Chanel, Prada, and Jimmy Choo reinterpreting their classic styles and newer brands like J.W.Anderson and Mansur Gavriel offering a modern reinvention . Originally introduced in the 1950's for teenage girls as "trainer heels" the kitten heel has since been co-opted by street style stars and celebrities . Perhaps the same logic applies however as these grown women are still looking for an easy yet elegant shoe to run around fashion week in and for walking up and down the red carpet . The editor and street style star Miroslava Duma , for example , was seen sporting them from show to show throughout New York Fashion Week and blogger Pernille Teisbaek has taken to flats and low heels as her baby bump grows . Designers like J.W.Anderson and Mansur Gavriel are experimenting with the shape and material of the kitten heel by incorporating patent leather , mesh , and even a cylindrical heel , while longstanding brands like Chanel succeed by making slight alterations to an already existing look . Take Chanel's popular slip-on mule , for example , from the brand's 2016 "Paris in Rome" Métiers d'Art show , which Rosie Huntington-Whitely loves . It references the classic Chanel two-tone shoe , but adds a twist with a pearl embellishment on the heel. Plus, no back for extra ease . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
||||
|
Thanks for posting a Hemsworth pic, equal opportunity eye candy. But did someone kidnap you and take your place for the last three paragraphs?   
| |||
|
Are there a lot of blowjob factories in Iowa? Can I get a tour of one? Do they give out samples?
| |||
|
So even the dentist is on the planned obsolescence band wagon. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
|
Become a member to create a blog
