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Did you know Chelsea Handler has a sex tape ?
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Did you know Chelsea Handler has a sex tape ? I didn't . I tried to watch it the other day but I got malware attacked instead .  I've never been impressed by any celebrity sex tape I've seen . Although I haven't seen many I suppose . Pam and Tommy Lee was a pretty huge disappointment unless you're really into Tommy Lee's cock . Paris Hilton ? Lame . Bret Michaels ? Meh . I've heard the Kim Kardashian one is pretty good . I suppose I like the idea of them for the same reason I like amateur porn - they're "real" people having real sex . In fact they're better than real people , they're celebrities . C-List celebrities , but still . What celebrities would you most like to see having sex ? I'm going with Jennifer Garner and Jennifer Lopez doubling up on Gwyneth Paltrow with strap=ons . But you all knew that already . I saw a dude carrying a rug out of his house the other day and putting it in his car . I almost said "rolled up rug" but that seems unnecessary - if you're carrying a rug of course its rolled up , there's no other way to carry it . Anyway , I did wonder what are the chances there wasn't a body in there ? 30% maybe . You have to hand it to the murderer who first struck on that idea - he was a quick thinker . Nothing going on here , just taking my rug for a walk .  This picture is from an article about how to increase a woman's sex drive . Are they advocating couples murder ? That did work pretty well on an episode of Law and Order . Or just couples rug carrying ? Or is the "tip" when your woman has to carry a rug you should help her , that really gets the lady's going when you're not a lazy selfish jag . Now I have to read it . If there's on source you can trust for sexual matters is Redbook . Hmm , apparently "the pill" lowers you sex drive ? That's a pisser . Its like one of them catch-22s . Antihistamines also dry out your vagina ?! Freaky . Interesting , thanks Redbook ! Although I find the premise somewhat misleading , it was a list of things that lower your sex drive - so I guess you can increase your sex drive by not doing them , but that seems like a little bit of the old bait and switch . I heard the Hilary Clinton campaign is losing ground . Check out this picture of the Clintons back in the day .  You'd swing with them wouldn't you ? And can you really trust a candidate you wouldn't swing with ? I submit that you cannot . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I take antihistamines frequently and notice no discernable reduction in my juiciness. I'm guessing it was a skewed study. I would totally love to see Popeye and Olive Oyl having sex ... maybe with a Bluto threesome. Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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Maybe in the pic of the couple carrying the rug together, the rug is a freudian symbol for the guy's giant dick? Hmmm celebrities having sex....I don't know, even though Ira Glass and Jon Stewart are my imaginary husbands, I don't think I'd particularly want to see them in a sex tape. How about "Hey Girl" Ryan Gosling? Or Monica, the singer from the band Phox - she's pretty hot and seems to have a goofy side that might make it entertaining. John and John from TMBG having an MFM threeway - is that sacrilege?   
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