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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Don't say you want to make out more when its clearly time for buttplay
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Don't say you want to make out more when its clearly time for buttplay I stole a toothbrush this morning (after going to church humorously) . Its the first time I've stolen anything - except hearts right ladies ! Zoom ! I have to say , it was pretty disappointing - the media has told me endlessly that stealing would give me a like an elicit thrill or a charge or sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure or an adrenaline rush or inspire/delight/exhilarate/intoxicate me but it did none of those things . Stupid media . I suppose though the thrill comes from the idea that you could be caught right ? And then the manager will take you into the back room and solicit a blowjob so they won't press charges . The potential of that is the thrill right ? Or I suppose the thrill could alternatively be that you're impressed with your own cleverness - that you go over on everyone else and are the smartest smarty in the world and everyone else can suck it because you're so smart . But I just picked it up and walked out - so it was neither of those things . So I guess I was doing it wrong . Also I have to amend my prior statement . When I was a lad and I had no money I used to technically "steal" the price of a movie ticket sometimes time inasmuch as I would walk into the theater and the ticket-taker would say "ticket ?" and I would say "I don't have one" and keep walking . When I mention this to people they usually say "they didn't try to stop you ?" Of course they didn't . You think the 16 year old working at the movie theater gives anything close to a shit about what happens there ? Based on what I know they steal 90% of the cash that comes in anyway . Back when they had cash in ye olden times . Maybe that's why don't work anymore - no cash to steal so what's their motivation ? Pet peeve of the day - people using "shooting blanks" to reference<b> erectile dysfunction . </font></b>Shooting blanks means you have low sperm count and/or are sterile - which is awesome . It does not mean you can't get it up , which is an acquired taste at best . It in this case being the penis and up being erect (aka full of blood , ew ! ) . If you have ED you can't shoot anything , even blanks , because your gun has a floppy sad barrel like in a Bugs Bunny cartoon .  The other day a lady asked me what the "freakiest" sex thing I had done was , which most freaky sex freaks ask eventually - usually as a segue into whatever freaky sex thing they want to do to you . It usually doesn't go well because I don't really do anything freaky . Anyway , this lady , undeterred forged on with her idea - which was to tie me up , abuse my nipples , and then fuck me with a strap-on . No , no , and no . Although lately I have been wondering if I would like having my asshole licked so probably its just a matter of time before I'm getting blasted in the ass .  For those keeping track this would be the 4th time I have gotten this request - although only one of the requestors actually HAD a strap-on so really how serious were these inquiries you have to wonder . I have been told I have an ass that is "just asking for it" which is weird and Bill Cosbyesque . I don't really get why a woman would want to do that , she can't feel anything anyway , but I suppose that's not the point aye ? Its a wild weird sexual world out there , not sure I belong anymore . If indeed I ever do . Like a lot of people I've probably been fooling myself . Also for those of you keeping super de duper track yes , I am a hypocrite yet again because I hate when people engage in the "keep calm and whatever" meme . Thanks for calling me on it . In other news , it must be weird if you're a really awesome Spanish teacher . Because what you're good at , speaking Spanish , is something that hundreds of millions of people do better than you without even trying . That's just an odd concept that you worked really hard to get really good at something that a large portion of the world does automatically . That would be akin to tomorrow discovering a planet inhabited by people who all play basketball better than Michael Jordan . And finally , someone said to me the other day that they thought their other friend have "more comics" than me . And then went on to say the amount of comics they had , which was not very many even for someone who's way into comics let alone someone who used to own a comic book store and got stuck with tons of unsold inventory . I don't know what's more strange , that the person said it or that I was offended by it . Why would I give a fuck if someone had more comics than me ? My brain is weird . PS - I've been in my attic sorting through said comics for another upcoming convention where I'll try to get rid of more of them . Its hot as balls up there . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Stealing a toothbrush - was this supposed to be some kind of stress relief? I'm sorry because it sounds like it didn't really work. On the other hand perhaps unloading some of those comics will take some psychic weight off of you, who knows. And sorry that I'm not there to help you in the attic; if karma worked properly certainly I would be there.   
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My strap on is usually reserved for my fellow lady companions. I mean, that's why I bought it, so that's what it's for. Although I've used it on a guy once. Ok, let me phrase that right. I've only used it on one guy. (Except please don't mention anything to the girlfriend) ANd that's upon request. We were dating for awhile at the time, and he knew i had one. And seemed very much into it. The first time, I also wondered what it did for me. Cos yea, I don't feel anything. But the knowledge of giving pleasure, I suppose, is pleasurable. Go figure 
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Over heated balls can lead to shooting blanks. This has been a Public Service Announcement. (you're welcome) Opportunity may knock only once, but temptation bangs on the door forever!
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