Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
+2 Fire Hugs
|
+2 Fire Hugs "Many orthodox people speak as though it were the business of skeptics to disprove received dogmas rather than of dogmatists to prove them . This is , of course , a mistake. If I were to suggest that between the Earth and Mars there is a china teapot revolving about the sun in an elliptical orbit , nobody would be able to disprove my assertion provided I were careful to add that the teapot is too small to be revealed even by our most powerful telescopes . But if I were to go on to say that , since my assertion cannot be disproved , it is intolerable presumption on the part of human reason to doubt it, I should rightly be thought to be talking nonsense ." Some dude people quote to make fun of people who believe in the lord above but who was really not trying to say that at all . Why do ants keeps building their “nests” in my lawn mower ? And why do I keep not checking for ants before I start my lawn mower and then being startled when they swarm up my arms carrying their grub-babies ? Normally I try to be live and let live with the insects but after the ant swarm while I was mowing the lawn some kind of flying jerk flew in my left nostril . And not 7 seconds later while I was furiously trying to blow out jerk #1 jerk #2 flew in my right nostril . The whole time I was outside I felt like I was being bombarded with arthropods . Because I was . Also I’m being infested with rabbits now . That first one must have told all his rabbits friends the party was on over there because at any given time there seem to be 4-8 of them grazing in my backyard (I’d like to graze HER backyard if you know what I mean) . It makes no sense because I have no garden , no delicious flowers for them to nibble on . Why are they here ? I need to get another cat , thin out their ranks a little bit . Why are all referee shirts so terribly uncomfortable ? I have a few and have worn a few others and they all feel like they’re 77% stinging nettles , 22% burlap and 1% gortex . It feels like something a penitent monk would wear in 1552 . Why does everyone hate referees so much ? And why does everyone think I have a referee shirt so I can sneak into Lady Footlocker ? What would be the point of that ? There’s no naked women in Lady’s Footlocker . Are there ? Is there ? Which is correct ? I guess if you had a foot fetish it might make sense . But I don’t . At all . Keep your ugly feet covered up weirdo . Joss Whedon does though . I wish I didn’t know that . But I do . All I want is a comfortable referee shirt so I can sneak into lady Footlocker . Is that too much to ask ? Is that so much to ask ? Which is better ?  This morning at work someone said “I don’t have a choice , I have to drink .” Being a moron who can’t control himself I said “You mean you’re an alcoholic ?” And they said (crossly) “No , I’m not an alcoholic , I’m not addicted , I just have to drink alcohol every day or I feel weird .” Boy did I learn my lesson . I went and saw X-Men Time Traveling Party Adventure last night . It was okay . The best part by far was Quicksilver which is interesting because a comic book character he’s imminently (eminently ? ) forgettable and no one cares about him . But his little scene in the movie was great . That’s unusual because usually comic book movies take an awesome character and make them lame rather than the inverse . Also I learned who Michael Fassbender is – also know as the actor at work the ladies talk about wanting to suck his dick all the time . I don’t get it , he’s an actor so you know he’s handsome and all , but he’s not super handsome or anything . He’s just a dude . Also no one warned me there was going to be naked guy who plays Wolverine who’s name I forget . I think he’s Australian . He’s got a hell of an ass I grant you that , but I wasn’t prepared for it . There wasn’t enough Toad I tell you what . And Toad wasn’t even the Toad I wanted .  As you all know I’m a terrible human being , but it never hurts to give evidence now and then . One of my co-workers is really sick and is in the hospital and some people are saying he might die . And mostly what I think about that is that it would suck for me if he did die because he has the job they always try to pressure me into when its open (which it is ever year or so because it’s a terrible job) . But then I also think , maybe they won’t offer it to me this time because my star doesn’t shine so bright anymore on account of all I do is point out how awful the department is now . And which would be worse ? Also as you all know probably my two favorite music acts are the Black Keys and Jack White various projects . Well come to find out that Jack White really doesn’t like Dan Auerbach , the dude from the Black Keys . I mean really , really doesn’t like him . Which is okay I guess but a lot of the stuff he says about it makes him seem like a dickbag . Which brings me back to something I think about a lot – does the artist matter or is it all about the art ? If there’s a painter you like and someone says “did you know that guy mutilates ostriches ?” should it make you not like his art as much ? Seems like it shouldn’t but for me it totally does . I liked Nirvana a lot more before I found out what a douche Kurt Cobain is . I’m still afraid to check out the Black Keys new<b> album </font></b>because El Camino was so weak . So I went to the internet to tell me what I might like if I like the Black Keys . And everything was either Jack White or something that is totally not like the Black Keys at all . Vampire Weekend internet ? Fuck you . So tell me some music I would like . Use telepathy to know what I would like . My ankles hurt . My gal pal got a “friend” of hers to fix my A/C for free . But honestly I would have rather paid hundreds of money than meet someone . That’s where I’m at in life . Meeting people is the worst . Especially when they’re doing you a favor . Especially when that favor really isn’t even something you want them to do . Small talk is the worst . And the worst part is neither party wants to do it . I didn’t want to talk to him , he didn’t want to talk to me , I just wanted him to fix the thing and leave and all he wanted was to fix the thing and leave . But we both stood there like idiots and blither-blathered . Turns out he’s a Magic player so it wasn’t the worst it could be , we did have something to talk about , but it was still pretty bad . I gave him some Magic cards his wife wouldn’t let him buy . There are so many sad things about that sentence . Here’s the weird part . Later that same night GP and I were watching Tom Papa do the comedy and he went into his bit about how small talk is the worst and everyone just says the same shit all the time and she said “that’s totally true” which blew me away because she’s the queen of small talk . Anytime we go out and someone says to her “How are we doing tonight ?” or something of that nature she’s off to the races . Which I’m not trying to bag on her for that , but if she doesn’t like it why is she doing it all the time ? More and more I become convinced that human behavior is inexplicable . A lady who I used to work with a few years ago came back to our department today . She used to be a little on the plus side but she was totally cute and everything – and everything . But now she’s lost a ton of weight and she’s not pretty at all . She’s kind of scary looking . Which I realize is a terrible thing to say but she just doesn’t look right . Like her head looks weird now . Part of that might have been her dumb haircut though . It’s sad she was 100% bangable before and now she’s a monster . Misogyny ! What do you think of the idea of gender reassignment as a sentence for some sex crimes ? Seems like it might be an okay idea to me . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
||||
|
Lawnmower ants??? Gah! But I guess Darwinism will eliminate them soon enough. Hm psychic music suggestions seems like a difficult task because your tastes are rather eclectic (although we both like Beck and TMBG). OK try out Temples - Sun Structures. Kind of 60's-ish. Or a left field option would be Django Django. I saw them live a couple of years ago, they were mesmerizingly fun.   
| |||
|
One of my coworkers died in a housefire earlier this year. One of my other coworkers made the comment that he had finally gotten fired. See, you don't hold a candle to my coworkers, but if you did more of them would burn to death. I've never considered the Auschwitz look to be attractive. Great mathematicians and scientists tend to be real jerks. Tycho Brahe was an absolute asshole, but he was clever. He had a fake nose made of gold. When people annoyed him he would take it off and start cleaning it. He died from a burst bladder after drinking too much and not being allowed to leave the presence of the king. Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
|
Become a member to create a blog
