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A review of
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A review of A day when you see a sexy redhead lady is a good day . It doesn't happen too often , there's not a lot of redheads out there . But the other day , I saw three hot red haired ladies all walking together towards the cafetorium . It was a sight to see . And then right after that I saw 2 more ! Five sexy redheads in like 4 minutes . Life truly is a miracle . When I quit blogging forever for 8 days I needed to find an outlet for my "writing" so I returned to my first love , screenwriting - a crummy world of plot holes and spelling errors . I wrote about an unfrozen caveman who became a porn star and his relationship with another unfrozen caves man who became a traffic warden . In one of the "funny" scenes the unfrozen caveman porn star goes to the optometrist (I'm laughing already said no one) but things don't go well because he's illiterate of course . On account of caveman . That got me to thinking . How do they give eye tests to people who can't read ? Do they have a second chart that's just pictures ? "Read the third line ." "Okay , house , unicorn , looks like a bus maybe , rat , syringe , could be a Frankenstein there , can't tell , sex swing . "Good , now try the fourth line ." And it also occurred to me that the entire premise of the eye test is that they don't trust you . They don't ask you if you can read the lines , they make you read them because they know you're a filthy liar who'd probably say "yes" even if you couldn't . Because why would people want glasses that actually worked ? Stupid people . I read a blog the other day wherein the bloggess was expressing (poorly to be honest) her dismay at the fact that some dude and humped from Senior Sizzle and some chick who humped some other dude she humped from Senior Sizzle were getting together to all hump each other . I suggested to her that she seemed to be in a scenario where that kind of thing was okay and maybe she didn't have the emotional maturity to be in a multi-hump lifestyle . Which was kind of a dick move on my part , I don't know this person or any of the people involved , I can't make a statement like that and have any<b> authority </font></b>behind . She didn't like that . Not One Bit Anyone who's been on the internet longer than 5 seconds get used to being "screamed" at my random strangers , but this gal's response got me a little . She let the expletives fly for sure which is no big deal , but she said some pretty horrible stuff beyond that . Which I deserved . Sometimes I forget commenting on a blog post is like when someone asks "How are you ?" you're not really supposed to say anything beyond the superficial . While I was writing this no one asked me "Why did you decide to start blogging again ?" And as always I explained my decision using something I saw on the TV . Aziz Ansari is a comedian who's pretty funny (He's also on Parks on Rec which is pretty good) . He used to talk about R Kelly often in his stand-up act and then decide he was going to stop because he felt he had pretty much covered it . But then he realized he couldn't because "R Kelly keeps doing insane things !" That's why I HAVE to keep blogging . I mean the other day I went to the dentist and the hygienist wasn't wearing a bra . I saw everything . It was glorious . That's the kind of thing you just HAVE to blog about . Its like the tree falling in the forest thing - if you surreptitiously see some unsolicited nude boobs and you don't blog about it did it really even happen ? Yes , but still . I mean I can see my gal pal's boobs pretty much any time I want . And I an literally see billions of other nude boobs on various forms of digital media any time I want . But there's just something special about seeing the nude boobs of a stranger in real life . Its exhilarating . Does that mean I am a bad person ? Yes . Does that mean I am a murder ? Again the answer is yes , but hey , what can you do ? I know a couple ladies who don't have to have and it makes me feel better about myself because it keeps hope alive maybe I can have a real relationship one day . But as I mentioned before I was depresses when I found out two of them were not capable of having , so that kind of put a damper on the whole thing . This week there was further dampering . I found out the other two are huge potheads . So I guess maybe that's a reason they don't want to have . Also it kind of weirds me out when I found out people in their thirties (who aren't rappers) still smoke weed . I mean grow up already and get some meth like an adult .  This picture has been going around the internets lately because a "debate" has sprung up around this woman , who's name is Maria Kang by the way , who is either a horribly bully or an inspirational whatever . First of all I say to you , don't blame me I voted for Kodos (if you get that you are a nerd) . Secondly I say that she absolutely is a bully and that's okay . The intent behind this picture of that if you have you should still be totally ripped and thin and sexy and if you're aren't then you're a bad person and should kill yourself . And that's fine for her to say , good even I would put forth . Not because of the 1st amendment (which I don't believe in) or anything like that , because that's how life is supposed to work . People are mean and they need an outlet for their meanness that's not detrimental to society . If people aren't allowed to get their meanness fix by shaming fatties on the internet they'll commit violent sex crimes or something . This is a fact . Certain types like to say that we live in a classless society which is total poppycock to be sure . The classes are the same as they have ever been - people who have something and people who don't . People who have fit , hot bodies heap scorn and revulsion on people who don't . People who have fat stacks of sweet , sweet cash heap scorn and revulsion on people who don't . People who have a good education heap scorn and revulsion on people who don't . People who have intelligence , wit and charm heap scorn and revulsion on people who don't . And so forth . This is the natural order . Its like the five minutes hate from 1984 - its an outlet that keeps people docile and manageable . If you don't let people be assholes to people who don't have something they have the whole system breaks down . Cannibalism and slavery will run rampant . Frogs will rain from the skies . The lamb will lay down with the lion . It will be anarchy and as we all know anarchy is bad . What is good and right is if this woman and her sexy fit friends see me lumbering around the mall , clopping my fat ass towards Sbarro and wheezing , and they point and laugh , perhaps making a few cutting remarks at my expense . And I will cry and spray crumbs at them from my fat lips as I try to explain I have issues with portion control and I don't deserves this and they will only laugh harder . I'll clumsily lurch away , slip on some gravy that fell out of my pocket , land hard on my smelly fat stomach and they'll laugh so hard they pee a little . And I'll go home and sit on the couch sobbing and shoveling KFC popcorn chicken into my mouth while flogging my pathetic little wiener (or maybe just a fat flap I don't even know) dreaming of revenge . And that is how it should be . Do you know how hard it takes to look like that ? You have to eat nothing good 100% of the time and bust your ass at the gym 77 hours a week . On top of that you need to take controlled substances . Why shouldn't someone who does all that get to ridicule and berate someone like me ? They've earned it , let them be horrible in peace . The other day at work I saw a court case USA v McClain . Only the first Die Hard movie was any good but if they make another one it should be named that and it should be a court drama . Balls deep in black ass was pretty good , the first chick wasn't very pretty but she took it in the ass like a champ . Plus is was interracial porn with white dudes which is rare . I give it 3 out of four . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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I'm thinking that picture must be photoshopped? Granted one can get back into shape after having a kid, and lose the fat, but I can't imagine that your skin can just snap back to being completely taut like that. But then, I've never had a baby so what do I know...   
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There's definitely help from Photoshop. I found these photos of her on her website, and she's got some very severe stretch-marks. [image] I don't have ANY on my stomach, so now I can be mean and smug too.
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Very good article.
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Hmmm... Kang... it would be a bit hypocritical of me to denounce her svelte body because I wouldn't object if she suggested that I put my evil worm inside her naughty bits and gave it a bit of a wiggle. In fact yes, I'll say it - and admit it you're all thinking it - if she asked me to fuck her then I probably would! Maybe even twice 
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photoshop
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