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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable
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Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable As you all know I am new to the pleasures of ejaculating into a fine upstanding lady's mouth and while I still find the concept of swallowing disgusting it occurred to me the other day where would you spit it out anyway ? Just on the floor or on the bed ? That's also revolting . This is Egyptian cotton people , I don't need semen and salvia (and probably some Diet Dr. Pepper) all over it . Is that why people have sex in public ? So they can expectorate jettisoned ejaculate on the ground ? Is that littering ? This whole thing is fraught with logistical problems . It feels pretty good though so I need to figure it out . Speaking of oral sensations remember a while ago when I told you I was downgrading Iowa from the greatest state in the Union to the worst because a lady from Iowa gave a dolphin a blowjob ? That lady got arrested for mail fraud the other day . I have to imagine jail is not going to be great for the lady who's willing to suck a dolphin dick FOR NO REASON . Also mail fraud ? Who even uses mail anymore ?  Also , remember the other day when I was talking about the dude with the 13 inch cock analizing some poor porn lady ? Upon further review I guess that's actually the better way to go . I mean the vagina is only 6-7 inches deep , but if you go in the asshole you've got quite a lot of space before you hit the sigmoiduem AND if the dude has a really flexible member you can make a left turn there and keep on going without any lasting damage . Anyway , the point is while it may be uncomfortable to have a 13 inch dick in your ass if its going to be in you that's the safer choice . I had this conversation with my gal pal the other day and somehow it lead to me trying to find online what the record was for having the most sex in the shortest amount of time (919 in one day) and that lead me to a link of other sex records , which of course , was horrifying . Such as ; a dude masturbating for 10 hours and a dude who not only shot his junk 18 ft 9 in but also holds the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of<b> ejaculation </font></b>(or muzzle velocity) with 42.7 mph . But the one I want to talk about the most if the woman with the record for lifting 31 pounds with her vagina . What does that even mean ? Do you just squat down over a barbell and clench down on the handle with your lips and then see if you can lift it ? How do you lift something with your vagina ? And if you are able to clamp down that fiercely how much control do you really have over it ? How many cocks venture forth into said vagina never to be seen again ? But what I really want to talk about today is a blog a wrote a while ago about the terrible things celebrities have done that no one seems to care about . I don't recall what triggered it , but the other day I thought to myself , as weird as it is that Ferris Beuller murdered two people and his punishment was like a $20 fine , what's even weirder is that somewhere out there there's a dude who's wife and were killed by Ferris Bueller . Having your family killed is fucked up enough , but think about how insane that is . The dude that killed your family is in movies and on TV shows like its all cool . I mean if someone said to me ; "Hey 40 , did you see Tower Heist ?" I would say something like "No , that movie looks horrible ." But if someone said that to this dude that's like a hate crime . Its unimaginable really . Someone kills your family and not only does he not got to jail but he gets paid millions of dollars to prance around like an idiot - he was on a Superbowl commercial for god's sake . Its inconceivable what that guy's life is like . And I wonder , does he just avoid thinking about it at all or does he go the other way and see all of Matthew Broderick's movies like 50 times ? Its hard to reconcile your mind to the concept that we live in a world where guy A kills guy B family and then guy A wins a Tony for the Producers . That was kind of a bummer so lets lighten things up a little . I'm training some new people at work and one of the has the "habit" of falling asleep during training . How whimsical ! I really want to give her a hard punch in the boob next time it happens , but I won't , but violence is wrong for some reason . Anyway , one time my boss walked by while Sleepy Sleeperton was napping and she exclaimed "Is she asleep ?!" To which I replied "No , she's in a learning trance ." Which I tell you , I like the idea of a learning trance . Speaking of work , we don't get casual dress any more because some bigwig came in one day while we had a casual day and was appalled by what she saw . But here's the funny part - people are WAY worse when we're corporate dress . When people wear jeans and a t-shirt they're usually decently attired , but when its not casual that's when you see all world's shortiest skirts and sleeveless shirts and all the other stuff that drives me insane . I think at least 3 times a day on normal days "Man , I hope she used double sided tape when she got dressed" . Here's the not funny part . A little while ago they said because we only made 700 trillion dollars last year they're taking away our incentive program AND no one gets a raise this year . Everyone just shrugged and went back to work . But when they said no more casual dress people went berserk . That makes me insane with insanity . 20% pay cut , no one cares AT ALL Can't wear capris on Friday - rioting in the fucking streets I cannot make that make sense in my brain . And it brought back all my old rage over the time they took away our health insurance and no one cared but they were all up in arms over the fact that they switched to cheap ass coffee in the break room . So , to summarize the people I work with ; Important Jeans Caffeine Not important Money Benefits Sometimes I think this whole planet is a social experiment and I'm part of the control group . Did I say think ? I meant wish . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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It's been many years since I've seen "Ferris Beuller's Day Off", but for the life of me, I just don't get the reference to his having killed 2 people, and getting only a fine. Are you using this name, to refer to someone else, that you can't name in your blog? I'm confused. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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PS: Sounds like you work with a bunch of dipshits, if the biggest concern about changes in the workplace are related to cheap coffee and doing away with casual dress days. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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Quoting 40Deuce: "I was talking about Matthew Broderick - he killed a woman and her daughter in a car accident while he was driving on the wrong side of the road. In court he said he didn't remember what happened and they let him off with a fine for driving on the wrong side of the road." I wondered about that. Seems to be that Jennifer Grey was his passenger in that car accident, and she has suffered long-term injuries as a result of it. He basically got off scot-free - he should be doing everything he can to educate people on being more aware when they are driving. But that's just my opinion. He is lucky he survived, unscathed. Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
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I suppose there is always the option of planning ahead and having some kleenex nearby...or, hey, a shot glass. Personally I like to let it dribble back out all over the guy's cock. Let HIM clean it up...   
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