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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
But there is good news
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But there is good news I heard the other day that the first kosher<b> personal lubricant </font></b>hit the shelves recently . Which doesn't make a lot of sense to me since I have only a vague idea of what kosher means , but mazal tov ! I used to always tell the story about the time I tried to make home made lube and glued my girlfriends legs together but I never do anymore . Its a pretty good story but after a while you just get sick of telling it . You say something enough times and it starts to lose all meaning . I wonder now sometimes if it even happened . I went to the DMV the other day to renew my license . People often complain about the DMV but I have never had to wait at the DMV ever . Not one time . I think maybe that's my superpower . Which isn't a great superpower , its not the superpower I would pick for myself , but at least its useful . I feel bad for all the people who have or have had a superpower they couldn't even use . For instance , there's a lot of electricity control going on out that , but that only became a useful superpower in the last 60 years or so . Some dude who could control electricity in 1663 was out of luck unless he happened to be nearby a lightening strike . And it cuts both ways I'm sure . I bet there's people out there right now with super-jousting or super-reaping powers who will never get to use them . Its sad . But you know my motto "when you feel sad stop feeling sad and feel awesome" . I thought about titling this post "Co-workers say the darndest things !" but I decided that was a little too silly . One of my co-workers today said to one of her peers that "you're not a real parent until you have your second " . Which seems like the kind of thing someone would say in jest , but she was not joking in the slightest . As I've mentioned before that's one thing that really steams my potato . "You're not a real BLANK until you do BLANK ." Since when are you the authority on BLANK buddy ? Since never that's when , so shut your yap . Also one of my co-workers said to me recently "Hey 40 , why do you always put the cap back on your soda (they said pop like a troglodyte but I am editing) in between drinks ?" And I explained to them it was so a mongoose didn't come and drink out of the bottle while I wasn't paying attention . When they asked why a mongoose would do that I said that mongooses love caffeine - but its very bad for them and I didn't want one to die because it drank my Coca-Cola Cherry . When they remarked they had never seen a mongoose in the building I said that I had seen one a few weeks ago and speculated that maintenance had released them to deal with the rattlesnake infestation down on the fourth floor . And they remarked (boobily) ; "Oh yeah , now that you mention it I think I did see one when I was in the break room last week ." I'd like to think they were playing along but I'm pretty sure they weren't . Sadly I have a reputation as being "a straight shooter" so when I say something ludicrous people often seem to believe it . Its king of irritating . Why should I go to the trouble of fabricating a ridiculous fib if you're not going to roll your eyes at me ? Sometimes when I talked to people ONline they call me "deuce" and I say "I prefer 40 actually" and then they say some variation of "that's a number not a name sillywillymillyhead !" . Deuce is also a number . But I never mention that . My gal pal and I were chatting the other day about big dicks (as we often do sitting on the porch enjoying a lemonade) and she re-stated her positions that big dicks are "disappointing" and dudes with them are "a bad lay" usually . Which I found somewhat interesting given the fact that only moments before when we were engaging in sweet , sweet coitus she was heard to remark (lustily) "you feel huge today !" which I guess is not the compliment I thought it was . What are your thoughts vis a vis large male reproductive organs ? Also what do you exclaim during sex that seems like a superlative but is actually a secret put-down ? I shaved my beard off the other day , as I do from time to time , and many people have commented on how much better I like (which is total BS) . Do you ever change your "look" and you get so many compliments it kind of starts to make if feel like they're insulting your previous appearance ? Maybe that's just me . It just seems like when someone say "You look so handsome NOW" what goes unsaid is that before you looked like a pile of puke . I remember specifically when I started shaving my head several people basically said "Thank god , you looked terrible before ." As I've mentioned like a billion times I have been interviewing applicants lately at work and one question I have been asking them is about "three door problem" sometimes called the Monty Haul paradox . I know I've talked about this on my blog before (and no one cares) but it amazes me not that everyone gets it wrong , but that even when presented with hard evidence that they're wrong they still won't admit it . UNTIL I show them a video on Utubes , then they believe me , which is utter nonsense . I can accept that people believe their own dumb instincts over math (although I hate it) but people believe the internet over their own dumb instincts ? That's disheartening . All the applicants suck , which is bad . But it has made me feel better about myself , which is good ? And I promised I would always post a picture for my illiterate "readers" so here's the greatest painting ever .  Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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