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And then her sexy roommate walked in dot dot dot
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And then her sexy roommate walked in dot dot dot Unlike every porn movie ever (and most non-porn movies) however a threesome did not congeal . Instead sexy funtime was over and listen to the odyssey of how Roommate burned her toast that morning and then a guy on the bus had the audacity to talk to her for 90 minutes was just beginning . In a way I have to admire Roommate . She had decided that she was going to regale us with the tale of toast and guy talking to her and that was that . Was she deterred at all by the fact that we were semi-clothed and very unambiguously foreplaying each other's faces off ? She was not . She didn't take a backward step "I had the worst day literally ever" she said without a missing a beat while tossing her bag in the general direction of a kitchen chair . Annoying , but also fascinating - that's an impressive level of self absorption . I am not a betting man , but were I , I would have wagered a substantial sum that had Roommate walked in 11 seconds later she would have seen my manhood inside the mouth of my lady friend (or would have it not for my fat belly) . Would that have stopped her ? I wonder , I really do . But perhaps the larger question is why didn't I get dressed ? 15-20 minutes in I had to have know that the moment had passed , why did I continue to sit there in my smallclothes and listen to this drivel ? At the very least I could have pulled my shirt on right ? Right ? I can only assume there was a part of my mind that was still holding onto the thin hope of intercourse . I hate that part of my brain . I'd like to destroy it with a laser but it probably has some useful features too . Stupid brain .  There's a TV show called the Big Bang Theory . Its pretty good but like most comedies in its declining years it is , well , declining . Its inevitable really , most shows aren't REALLY funny for long . This case is a little different though , because I think there's a very specific reason why . Sheldon . He treats people like shit and expects them to worship him for it and when they don’t he responds with aggression , rather than trying to understand conflicting points of view . What began as a lovably aloof and pleasantly awkward character has become the major villain of this series giving the rest of the cast something to fight against in order to move their characters forward . Sheldon is evolving too , but he’s just turning into an even bigger asshole . The Sheldon in the first few episodes was the best - he was a weirdo sure , but was a believable weirdo . I knew people like that Sheldon . Hell , I might have been a person like that Sheldon . But as time as passed he's turned into more of a caricature than a character . The funny thing is probably a product of the success of the show - had it been less popular I think they would have been less apt to make everything so exaggerated . Raj is kind of the same way . Most of the "jokes" are pretty predictable now . There have been a few theories on what makes things funny and if you want to read about them , go right ahead(I'll warn you in advance it isn't very funny stuff and is in fact some of the driest, chalkiest stuff ever written) Problematically , most of these theories are badly incomplete . It's usually quite easy to think of hilarious jokes that the theory doesn't capture or to construct jokes within the theory that are actually pretty terrible . I've done the math and this one should be 5.8 +/- 0.4 Couliers worth of funny . The theories aren't completely worthless however and one condition that shows up in many of them is that for a joke to work , it needs to be surprising . The audience can't see the joke coming . If that seems obvious to you , consider that it applies to more than just jokes repeated verbatim ; it applies to formats and structures as well . Which is why , if you've watched sitcoms your whole life , you can turn to nearly everything on CBS and see all the jokes lumbering slowly toward you like sad , hilariously doomed dinosaurs . The jokes are still original , and funny in their own way , but because they follow the same structure and rhythm sitcoms have used for the last 50 years , they're a lot less enjoyable to watch . A human being can tolerate only so many misunderstandings based on the different definitions of the word "poke" before they snap . But its just a TV show so who cares ? I think about these things too much sometimes . Speaking of which , Cake (an awesome band and food) has a song called "I Bombed Korea" which I'm pretty sure is about bombing Korea but a lot of people think is about sex . People seem to thing all songs (and everything else) is about sex . I can kind of see it . One of the very clear memories of my lifetime is driving home after I was first de-virginized and listening to the radio I thought to myself "Wow , every song every is about sucking dicks ." I got over that initial thought , but some people still seem to cleave to it . Some say the song is a desperately clear allegory referring to juvenile sexual experience including both sex and masturbation ; "I bombed Korea every night ." Explosions=Ejaculations , come on it isn't "every night" randomly , in a song this short nothing can be random . "Red flowers bursting down below us." May be the experience of destroying a girl's hymen (or the bleeding that keeps happening when girls are inexperienced , if you're throwing anything worth tossing that is) but I think just as much the joyous feelings you get during sex at certain points . "Those people didn't even know us ." The feeling that the full intimacy wasn't there and that numbed the experience to a kind of<b> carnal pleasure </font></b>, desperate to feel that connection but really not feeling it . (we all been there, right?) "We didn't know if we would live or die. We didn't know if it was wrong or right." Statements about their frustration with the futility of their purely sexual bond , whether it's a man with himself or a man with a woman . It refers not to just one experience but the ENTIRE juvenile sexual experience . Meh , I'm pretty sure its just a song about bombing Korea . Also I think a "good" reality show would be asking virgins a series of questions right before they become not virgins and then asking them again right after . Now that's must see TV ! Sigh . I saw Superman 6 the other day . I got a free ticket from some lady at work otherwise I wouldn't have gone , anyone who's been a long time reader of my blog (LOL !) knows I'm not a big Man of Steel fan . I was expecting nothing but it was pretty decent actually . Not "good" my any means , but about as good as you can make a movie about Superman - he's just not a good subject for storytelling if you ask me . Zod was there so you know , that was cool . Eveb Non is okay . Ursa can bite it though . A lot of my fellow nerds are outraged because they changed a TON of stuff that's pretty well established about Supes but I say get over it . Batman , Superman , Spider-Man , they've all been around forever - everyone knows their deal , to me it would be more boring if they didn't tinker with the backstory a little bit . By the way did you know the current Spider-Man is a black , Hispanic , gay dude ? Way to hit all your diversity quotas with one character you lazy bastards . 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