Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
How about a little fire scarecrow ?!
|
How about a little fire scarecrow ?! I used to have a lot of family in rural areas , not so much anymore . When I was a I had a cousin who I used to visit during some kind of small town harvest festival . Part of this festival was a "Scarecrow Contest" which is pretty much what it sounds like , people made scarecrows and then you could vote on which one was the best . When the contest was over they'd put all the scarecrows in a pile and burn them . I have no idea why , probably because its fun to burn stuff . My sister told me that they burned them because otherwise they'd come alive . I believed it of course (because little will believe anything) and this made the whole scarecrow burning thing 100% horrifying to me . I have some pretty clear memories of sobbing and screaming because I couldn't understand why they wouldn't let the scarecrows some to life . My parents always asked me what was wrong and I would never tell them for some reason (because little are weird) and on top of that when they told me I didn't have to go to the Scarecrow Contest I always begged them to let me go . Again for reasons unknown . My other sister claims (I don't believe her , she remembers a lot of stuff that never happened) that one time when I was crying my little eyes out I pulled one of the scarecrows out of the death pile and started a blanket on fire or something . Seems very unlikely . My horror at this even is even more peculiar because one of my very real (to me) and powerful fears as a was a scarecrow coming to life and killing me by touching my chest and stopping my heart . Why was this such a strong fear for me ? My sister of course . She told me that if you had the same dream X number of nights in a row it would come true . For years I had a reoccurring dream about a scarecrow coming to life and killing me . Eventually I had said dream X times in a row so obviously it was going to come true . I'm not sure why I was thinking about this today or why I'm telling it now . I guess so you know my sister was a dick when we were ? There's a pretty good Beck song named "Scarecrow" . On Parks on Rec Andy has a poster for what I assume is a fictional band called Scarecrow Row Boat . I want that poster . I seem to remember a pretty good movie with Gene Hackman in it that was called Scarecrow but I don't recall the plot at all . One time I wrote this Attention freaks , I need your input por favor about how I wanted to get rich off making "hornet play" the new fad in sexual deviance . I'm still waiting for that to take off . When I was researching the Kama Sutra for one of my recent posts I found out there's a chapter in there about penis enlargement through wasp stings . "To Increase the Size and Potential of the Penis: Take shuka hairs - the shuka is an insect that lives in trees - mix with oil and rub on the penis for ten nights... When a swelling appears sleep face downwards on a wooden bed, letting one's sex hang through a hole. " - Vatsyayana Shukas are wasps and their "hairs" are their stingers . Given the massive swelling that would result from thousands of stings could actually make it larger , I guess it makes sense but that's sort of like gouging your eyes out so you don't have to wear glasses anymore . However if you want to be mutilating your penis with insect venom I can totally hook you up . I like that there was enlarge your member spam two thousand years ago . I also like that they say increase the size and the potential of your cock . People get so wrapped up in the size they forget about the potential . In other news I heard the worst conversation I ever heard today . Not worst as in the content , worst as in the structure of the thing . Lady #1 - I'm tired . Lady #2 - Huh ? Lady #1 - I'm tired . Lady #2 - What ? Lady #1 - I'm tired . Lady #2 - Today ? Lady #1 - What ? Lady #2 - You said you're tired . Lady #1 - Huh ? Lady #2 - What ? Lady #1 - I'm tired . Lady #2 - Today ? Lady #1 - What ? Lady #2 - You're tired today ? Lady #1 - Yeah . Lady #2 - Huh ? Lady #1 - I'm tired . Lady #2 - Today you're tired ? Lady #1 - Yeah . Lady #2 - Oh . I can only hope they were on mushrooms . And finally , I started reading a book about how after 9/11 a lot of Americans developed Stockholm Syndrome for the US government . Its pretty interesting . Inflammatory BS sure , but interesting nevertheless .  Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
|||
|
Today ? Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| ||
|
So was that bed the first recorded instance of a glory hole?    
| ||
|
Maybe it was Guy Fawkes Night? They burn a "Guy" then. I had four sisters and one brother. I'm the youngest and my one sister used to tell me stories about monsters in the basement. One year there was a particularly loud sonic boom, and it caused my dad's home brew to explode the bottle it was in. Once one bottle went the flying glass started a chain reaction eventually breaking about 300 bottles. My sister told me that was soldiers using machine guns on the monsters. The smell was from dead monsters. I was terrified and never drank home brew. Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
| ||
|
So was that bed the first recorded instance of a glory hole? Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
|
Become a member to create a blog
