Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
If I Don't Get 100 Comments on This Picture, I'll Never Show My Tits on Here Again!
|
If I Don't Get 100 Comments on This Picture, I'll Never Show My Tits on Here Again! I realize my last post was mostly about pro<b> wrestling </font></b>, but seriously ? No comments ? You are all off my Christmas card list . And my Christmas cards are GREAT . The other day at work I was thinking about which Egyptian god I would have intercourse with if I had to choose (which I assume you do at some point in your life) . Its a hard call because most of the Egyptian goddesses have cow heads - which is a bit of a turn off . I don't care how hot your body is , if you have a cow head I'm just not into it . I guess there's also doggy style(I assume cow-headed goddesses is the origin of the notion "head down ass up") but I think the ears flicking around would still bother me . But on the other hand , the second most popular head for Egyptian goddesses is the cat . Which sounds good at first - sexy cat lady ? Sign me up right ? But hold the phone Ying-Yang , first of all have you ever heard what a lady cat sounds like when she's getting humped ? Yeah , imagine that coming out of a 10x bigger head (can't blame them really male cats have penis spikes) . Plus there's the whole biting issue . I don't like when lady's bite me but they seem compelled to do it and I can live with it . A cat head the size of a human woman's head ? You're dead buddy . Plus who really wants to kiss a cat mouth ? If you said "me" please check yourself into the nearest mental ward . I guess if I was going to get a blowjob I'd rather have it from a cow mouth than a cat mouth . Anyway , I'll go with Isis because she has a lady head - even though she did bang her brother (and a few times) I guess they were into that back in the day . So what Egyptian god would you sexxor ? Also , did you know we don't even call the Egyptian gods by their right names ? Some jerk who first found out all this crap (for white folks of course) just made up all the names . Apparently this kind of thing happens all the time . Here's a short play about it ; Space alien coming to earth for the first time - Hi , what's your name ? Me - 40Deuce SACTEFTFT - Cool , I'll call you Bliz-Blaz . Me - Why can't you use my real name ? SACTEFTFT - Because fuck you that's why . Scene In other news I have a co-workers who's obsessed with a lady called Beyonce (which could be real name too but how can we be sure ? Fucking Egyptologists) . She's a pretty good singer and had some okay songs , she married and ugly dude but I think she nailed Justin Timberlake one time too . Pictured below Justin Timberlake  Say what you want about J-Tim , he's bedded a fine collection of ladies - he must know what he's doing . Plus Alpha is a pretty good flick . Anyway , this lady said something about Beyonce that I found hard to believe so I referenced all the all-knowing wiki or pedias . I don't remember what I even looked up , but her wiki entry said that she had her own production company (plausible) called virginanal (not so much) . Suspecting tomfoolery (or even shenanigans) I tried to verify independently in the interwebs but guess what you find when you search for virgin anal ? I'd like to believe I live in a world where Beyonce would name her company Virgin Anal but I bet I don't . In other other news I went to Subway the other day (my first mistake but hey , I was literally starving to death) and they put sweet onion sauce on my "sandwich" instead of red wine vinegar . Not only was it gross as hell my breath STILL stinks . What can I do about it ? Can you drink bleach if you dilute it ? What about liquid plumber foaming drain snake ? Help me out . And now , a fun fact . I have a chair . Its an awesome chair . It swivels . The only reason I bought my loveseat is so I could get the chair . The other day I was engaging in a spirited bout of chair sex . The next day I learned something . The mucus that sprays out of a lady (which don't yourself that's what it is) during what some call female ejaculation (and I call taking a drink from the firehose) doesn't seem to stain in general but it stained the hell out of my awesome chair . And my sister laughed when I got the protection plan . Who's laughing now ? I get a new chair for free . Point is if you're one of them lady ejaculators test your ejaculate on part of the fabric that doesn't show before you start spraying it all over the place please . Thank you . And finally . When I was driving home today I saw a really ugly in the backseat of a car in the next lane . At a stoplight I got a better look and realized it was a goat . Which is weird . Made me think of two things . First , when I was a one of my friends lived next door to people who had a goat . It was the angriest animal ever in the world . If you got within 11 feet of the fence it would flip out and start ramming the shit out of it . Whenever a new came around we'd always dare them to jump the fence and run through the yard . I saw so many get goat rammed it scarred me for life . Second , a long time ago I was reading a book about Christianity not as a religion but as a institution and one fellow mentioned that many of the early Christians were shepherds . But the other main profession in the area was goatherding . He thought the church would be much different if the goatherds had been in on the ground floor because goats are smart enough you can lead them - sheep are dumb and have to be driven where you want them to go . I think its even addressed in the Bible specifically . Matthew 25 maybe . Also it was in a Cake song so you know its true - sheep go to heaven , goats go to hell . Post Script - There's a new Magic card called "Double Core Tapper" which totally should be the name for a sex act of some kind . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
|||
|
My family was once camping, and a van pulled up next to us pulling a humungous trailer. Our of the van piled a family of about 6, together with a person in an iron lung, and a GOAT. I shit you not. Kind of creepy to think that, for a moment, I might have inhabited a world that 40Deuce would consider normal.  Check out my profile or and become a "watcher" of my blog FMAOPLS,to learn more about me, and for intelligent, lively, smartassy and fun discussion, with a little irreverence thrown in. "Like" or comment on my photos, and I promise I'll add more. Thanks.
| ||
|
Thoughts come flying to mind {without an air traffic controller}. There used to be a blogger here called takethemoneyandrun. He had a thing {several actually} about aliens and goats. I was at the Grassley farm for a friends pre wedding party. Chuck's brother was living there then and had a goat. A friend tripped and dropped his plate. He gave it to the goat. The goat ate the food, the styrofoam plate, the plastic silverware, and had some wallpaper for dessert. It didn't seem to hurt him. I suspect that a cow tongue would feel much better than a cat tongue. On the BBC they had a show called "All Creatures Great and Small". It was about vets, and they did show the main character with his arm way up inside a cow that was having a calf. I don't need to see that in real life. {talk about fisting} When water is chlorinated it is essentially adding dilute bleach to it. That's why city water tastes crappy. Try drinking Blatz Light Cream Ale. Last time I checked it was 89cents a six pack, totally disgusting, and it would coat your mouth with some kind of permanent layer of bad taste. If you did actually manage to get drunk off this stuff, the taste in your mouth the next morning would traumatize you into thinking that you must've engaged in some REALLY sick oral sex act. I did see an emu run across the road one night. I didn't call 911, I didn't think they'd believe me {I wouldn't have believed me}. Turns out there's a guy who raises exotic animals near here. Wild Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
| ||
|
WTF - I commented on your last post. What am I, chopped liver?    
| ||
|
Cherry Limeade AND a goat ? Best day ever Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| ||
|
My family was once camping, and a van pulled up next to us pulling a humungous trailer. Our of the van piled a family of about 6, together with a person in an iron lung, and a GOAT. I shit you not. Kind of creepy to think that, for a moment, I might have inhabited a world that 40Deuce would consider normal. Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| ||
|
WTF - I commented on your last post. What am I, chopped liver? Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| ||
|
Okay, okay... It's a nice pic. But then I probably shouldn't comment that way you'll have to change your profile pic! hehe Egytian gods, Greek gods, etc. I can't help ya there. I totally zoned out way back when we studied that stuff. Virgin Anal? Sounds a bit doubtful to me! (Although I'm now curious about what you found during your online search.) Sweet onion sauce ROCKS! It is definitely better than red wine vinegar. Sheesh! It IS an awesome chair. Sorry. But it never stained sheets so how was I to know? Maybe it was a reaction with whatever they used to protect it! But at least it all worked out. (Did I tell you I was sorry?) As for the "double core tapper" you're the idea man... Figure it out. Then let me know when you wanna try it! 
| ||
|
Okay, okay... It's a nice pic. But then I probably shouldn't comment that way you'll have to change your profile pic! hehe Egytian gods, Greek gods, etc. I can't help ya there. I totally zoned out way back when we studied that stuff. Virgin Anal? Sounds a bit doubtful to me! (Although I'm now curious about what you found during your online search.) Sweet onion sauce ROCKS! It is definitely better than red wine vinegar. Sheesh! It IS an awesome chair. Sorry. But it never stained sheets so how was I to know? Maybe it was a reaction with whatever they used to protect it! But at least it all worked out. (Did I tell you I was sorry?) As for the "double core tapper" you're the idea man... Figure it out. Then let me know when you wanna try it! Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
|
Become a member to create a blog
