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We was defrocked (Handjobs and wedding plans)  

40Deuce 46M
4635 posts
7/31/2012 4:30 pm

Last Read:
8/2/2012 3:26 pm

We was defrocked (Handjobs and wedding plans)


I've mentioned before that I have a childhood friend who became a priest (who's a bit of a drunk) - well now I have a childhood friend who used to be a priest (I guess we can't call him Father Jagerbomb anymore) . Turns out he had a wife and a and whatnot - I knew he had a secret girlfriend when he was in seminary school , but this secret family thing was news to everyone . Now I know why he never showed up for anything - it makes perfect sense now that I know what the deal is , married dudes are rarely allowed to leave the house unless they're fetching something .

I didn't get all the details , but even though he's not a priest anymore he's still somehow doing all the stuff a priest does . Doesn't sound very Catholic to me , I thought those types were pretty hardcore about enforcing meaningless rules (no offense , well some maybe) . I assume its all a scam and really the Vatican ninjas have been dispatched to make him "take a sabbatical" . Its all a bit weird . A lot of my friends are pissed at him for keeping the whole "I have a wife and " thing under wraps , but honestly that doesn't really bother me . Normally being lied to really aggravates me , but if I don't have to waste time making small talk with your dumb wife or playing with your stupid so much the better . That probably sounds pretty mean , and it is I guess .

In other news I had a massage yesterday - normally I go wherever they have a special but I figured I'd give the lady who keep smashing her boobs in my face another try . I mean why not ? Who doesn't like boobs in their face ? And there was much boob smashing . Also this time she kept brushing her hand across my junk too . I've never gotten aroused before during a massage , but this was an excessive amount of junk touching . I would have thought maybe she was into me if she hadn't been blabbing about her upcoming wedding the whole time . It did get me to thinking though , if somehow it was legal/moral/ethical to get a happy ending how much would I pay for that ? Maybe $10 . I think I've talked about this before - a handjob just isn't all that desirable right ?

In my experience ;

70% of masseuses tell me to keep my underwears on
20% of masseuses leave the underwears up to me
10% of masseuses tell me to take my underwears off (one got mad at me when I didn't and pretty much ripped them off)

I tend to find the competence of the masseuse follows the same way - with some exceptions . I assume the more experienced you are the more comfortable you are with a totally nude fellow like myself .

As I'm sure you all know , despite the fact that I am not a 13 year old boy or a drunken redneck I quite like professional<b> wrestling . </font></b>Once upon a time where was a<b> wrestling </font></b>promotion called ECW , which was one of the best ever . One of their yearly events was called Hardcore Heaven . The other day I decided I needed to buy Hardcore Heaven 2000 on the DVD because it has one of my favorites matches of all time (Steve Corino vs. Yoshohiro Tajiri) so I went a-shopping on my old pal the internet . Straight up search-engine wise you know how hard it is to NOT find porn when you're looking for "Hardcore Heaven" ? Fairly hard .

While we're on the subject anyone who took a couple psych classes in college riddle me this - why do I so abhor real violence (like UFC) but love fake violence ? Sometimes I wonder if I'm the same way about sex . Watching two professionals go at it on the TV ? I can get behind that . The idea of my revolting body flapping up on down on some poor lady ? Less exciting .

I feel like there was something else I was going to say but now I can't remember . Something about Superman maybe ? I don't know . It was probably pretty great whatever it was .

Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


wildoats19622 62M
3526 posts
8/1/2012 12:43 am

There was an old Bloom County where two of the characters are debating what they are watching on TV. One thinks it is the evening news, the other thinks it's an old Rat Patrol rerun. The third character interrupts and asks whether or not he should be enjoying the program.

Watching a Priest get a big booby massage with a happy ending could be Hardcore Heaven.

That probably cost me a few years in Purgatory.

Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.


40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
8/1/2012 6:41 pm

    Quoting  :

I did ask on her comment card why she kept feeling me up - so we might

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


40Deuce 46M
5725 posts
8/1/2012 6:42 pm

    Quoting wildoats19622:
    There was an old Bloom County where two of the characters are debating what they are watching on TV. One thinks it is the evening news, the other thinks it's an old Rat Patrol rerun. The third character interrupts and asks whether or not he should be enjoying the program.

    Watching a Priest get a big booby massage with a happy ending could be Hardcore Heaven.

    That probably cost me a few years in Purgatory.
Note to self - trademark "Big Booby Massage"

Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.


smartasswoman 66F  
35813 posts
8/1/2012 8:24 pm

My massage therapist also keeps talking about his fiancee. It seriously interferes with any lurid fantasies that I might be entertaining about him.

And he has never smashed his junk onto my face. I feel robbed.


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