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| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
Advice , the proper way to eat a banana , and why Iowa > Missouri
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Advice , the proper way to eat a banana , and why Iowa > Missouri So its turns out that Tennis Girl might want to date me after all . I guess looking for a tennis partner on a dating site might be sending a mixed message . Is there any way I can brutally reject her emotional advances and still have her as a partner for the summer doubles league ? My brain says no , but my brain is an idiot - tell me what to do . That way its your fault . In other news a lady showed me how to eat a banana without making it look sexual the other day (bananas look like dicks you know) and I figured I should share that information with you . 1. Peel the banana 2. Smash the banana 3. Spread the smashed banana between your index and middle finger 4. Lick the banana off from between your fingers Nothing sexual about that  In other other news I've never liked Missouri , and now I know why . It's ludicrous to imagine modern-day Iowa pulling a gun because a neighboring state disagreed about where the border should be , but the 1800s were a different time . For instance , when Missouri decided to resurvey the border with what would soon be Iowa (in a way that would , of course , make Missouri bigger) shit hit the fan . Missouri sent in a sheriff and tax agents to collect from the settlers in "Iowa" and were met by a pitchfork-wielding mob that chased them back to Missouri . In retaliation , Missouri Governor and professional dumbass Lilburn Boggs , a trigger-happy guy who would later make it legal to kill Mormons , sent the militia to occupy the border . They were met by the , um , eclectic Iowa militia . According to one observer they were "...men armed with blunderbusses [awesome] flintlocks , and quaint old ancestral swords that had probably adorned the walls for many generations . One private carried a plough coulter over his shoulder by means of a log chain , another had an old-fashioned sausage stuffer for a weapon , while a third shouldered a sheet iron sword about six feet long ." The Iowans managed to take the Missouri sheriff hostage . Meanwhile , after being beaten by what was the worst-armed cosplay convention ever , the Missouri tax agents figured they'd need to find another way to collect . So, they cut down a bunch of honey bee hives as partial payment to have something to show their bosses . The states appealed to Congress to settle the matter . Congress drew an arbitrary line and told both sides not to cross it , by God , or else Congress would turn the territories around so fast it would make their heads spin . Show Me State my ass . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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5/14/2012 1:21 pm |
happy beautiful
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if an angry man approaches you in a hostile manner with a sausage stuffer. It might be time to advance in the other direction Crosswords increase your vocabulary. Cross words increase your blood pressure.
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if an angry man approaches you in a hostile manner with a sausage stuffer. It might be time to advance in the other direction Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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I'm not sure if that's a burn on the color or the curvature of Brit penises . Maybe that's a good thing Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
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Tell, or reiterate, that you are not looking for a date, merely a second for tennis doubles {explain term if necessary}. You will have at least made the absolute truth 'brutally' obvious. She is not allowed, by way of Geneva Convention {female warfare} rules to get pissed about it. She, however being a 'she', may just be psycho and get pissed for other and sundry reasons, some of which will have nothing whatsoever to do with you. It's a 'gal' thing. *shrug* In case of last event...hope tennis keeps you in shape for running, and dodging, and any other necessary non-sexually sweaty things like that.
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