Reset Password
Reset Link Sent
| Blogs > 40Deuce > Sherry Stringfield's ass in 93 |
The curious case of the latex condom
|
The curious case of the latex condom My name is 40Deuce (check my birth certificate) I am 34 years old (again , birth certificate) and I have never (not even one time) had sexual intercourse between my penis and a fancy lady's vagina without wearing a latex condom (so far as I know you'll have to take my word on that) . Perversely I have never worn a condom when making sweet , sweet love to a fine lady's butthole . The last time I had anal lovings I did try to wear a condom (may be scrawled on my birth certificate in pencil on the back) because I heard unprotected back alley action is a good way to end up with a urinary tract infection(which I don't want) - here's a quick re-enactment ; After 7-13 minutes of prep work Classy lady - Alright , let 'er rip you rhino-cocked stud (may be paraphrasing) 40D - You don't have to tell me twice ! Classy lady - I said , let 'er rip you rhino-cocked stud 40D - No , I said you didn't need to (sigh) Tentative thrust Slightly harder thrust 40D - Oh crud Classy lady - What happened ? Where are you going ? 40D - I'm going to warm up the tongs, we've got an AWOL condom on our hands As regular readers (HA !) know I'm no stranger to fishing condoms out of the so called front door - which is okay - but the scenic route is a whole other deal . I can live without ever doing that again - and I'm sure it was no picnic for her either . Before I get back to my real point , just so you all know - you can get pregnant from anal . Its unlikely but it can happen . I have to admire my sperms for sperming so hard , but also I hate them for it . Fun fact , its a persistent rumor that that's how Brittany Spears accidentally got pregnant with her second . And yes , to save you the trouble I'm sure the condom slipped off because my penis is so small . You people are so mean - that was hurtful . Anyway , the point is while I crunched the numbers a while back and figured out that its improbable I'll ever had sex again (which I'm okay with - honestly for a guy like me I've had way more sex than I had any right to) I do wish that just one time I could unleash the full fury of unsheathed magic wand on some lucky/generous lady . With my luck after that one time I would wind up with every STD known to man but still if I had a bucket list (which I don't) that would be on it . Speaking of STDs , there's an old SNL sketch about James Bond going to the doctor that's pretty funny - you should look it up . Of course as quick on the trigger as I am sometimes I'm sure unprotected sex would be pretty disappointing for everyone involved . You may be asking yourself "Why does 40 always use protection ? Also , am I out of milk ?" I can't help you with the milk thing , but mostly its because I am super afraid of getting a lady pregnant . Not because I think any woman would want to "trap" me (although one said she did) I just can't trust anyone that much . People are dumb - real dumb . REAL real dumb . Maybe you think you took your pill , but who knows ? Maybe that is a birth control patch , but maybe its a band-aid . And that's not even counting the inexplicable - like someone at the birth control factory sneezing into the pill goo and ruining everything . You just never know , and that's not a risk I'm willing to take . What's that you say ? Condoms aren't 100% effective either ? La , la , la , I don't hear you ! But that's only part of the problem - once the condom protocol has been established its hard to quit . I have a hard time reading the ladies in that way (and every other way) . Sometimes it seems like I'm getting the go ahead for condomless action and when I got for it I see the panic in their eyes and I chicken out . I suppose if I ever do have intercourse with a lady again I should just you know , ask her about it if I want to stop . Although no woman has ever mentioned the subject to me so maybe that wouldn't go anyway either . I had a third reason for wearing condoms all the time too , but I forgot what it was . Probably something about sticking it to the Pope . The Catholic one , not the wrestler . Although I don't care for his views on birth control either now that I think about it . So , to summarize 1. You can get pregnant from buttsexoring 2. I have no bucket list 3. Pope Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
||||
|
I know , but I have a bad habit of beating long odds Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| |||
|
Like most men who blog here, I'm sure you're using the blog as a flimsy excuse to get the ladies naked. I hope your luck in that regard is better than mine. And I know it's sort of ooky to have another guy comment on your blog, like I'm checking you out in the gym shower, which I'm totally not... Nope, not an awkward moment here. Anyhow, I'm going to pimp your blog on mine. Not that that's the A.F.F. good housekeeping seal of approval, but you deserve more than three watchers. karlbloggerfeld - Dry-humping your legs since 2007.
| |||
|
My tubes are tied, does that help? Seriously though, even condoms don't protect against everything. I agree with Arti, I think you just wanted to share that story with us. I've never had anal with a condom come to think of it but only 2 men have had the honor of using that entrance! ***
| |||
|
40D I would like to introduce you to my friend Fleshlight. I think you two will get along famously and condomlessly and best of all infertiley. (that word there - didn't just get autocorrected). It's weird all the quirks we have about condom use. I never have anal without one, even with my man. But shore leave in my city and plentiful cocks and the lady parts? Giddy-up. (this may be an exaggeration. Again if we get down to brass tacks condoms with e veryone except my man. But the notion of unprotected dock sex is grand). Bloggerfeld was right. You need to blog more here. Entertain us dammit! I am a celebration of willful chaos and a hugger.
| |||
|
40D I would like to introduce you to my friend Fleshlight. I think you two will get along famously and condomlessly and best of all infertiley. (that word there - didn't just get autocorrected). It's weird all the quirks we have about condom use. I never have anal without one, even with my man. But shore leave in my city and plentiful cocks and the lady parts? Giddy-up. (this may be an exaggeration. Again if we get down to brass tacks condoms with e veryone except my man. But the notion of unprotected dock sex is grand). Bloggerfeld was right. You need to blog more here. Entertain us dammit! Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| |||
|
Having your tubes tied is also notoriously unreliable - its almost like sex is SUPPOSED to result in children . Putting clients first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put clients (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first.
| |||
|
Totally stealing a line , but what's the point of the fleshlight ? So if someone walks in on you you can just play it off like you're fucking a flashlight ? I am a celebration of willful chaos and a hugger.
|
Become a member to create a blog
