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Paint by numbers
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Paint by numbers I have a cousin whom I'm pretty close with (by comparison anyway) who's girlfriend is pregnant and has become the target of some good natured (mostly) ribbing because he already has two daughters and two other baby mommas . Which as a sidenote I don't understand at all - he says he can't use protection because he's Catholic , but you know what else Catholics aren't supposed to do ? You get the idea . Anyway , I'm all for good-natured ribbing (as long as its not targeted at me) but really , what this means is he has proof that he's slept with three ladies - I can't prove I've ever done anything in the bedroom . So who's the joke really on ? But this just leads me to the number three . Various studies indicate that most women say they have two sexual partners in their life , while men say they have four . Conventional wisdom says that women usually diminish and men usually exaggerate . Normally you can't put much faith in conventional wisdom , but obviously there's something wrong with these numbers . True , there are more women than men , but only by a small amount . Unless there's a ton of 3-ways going on out there (unlikely) both numbers should be pretty close . Its like a recent sports column I read stating this year the NFL wasn't very good because the average record was 8-8 . The average record is always 8-8 boys and girls , that's how averages work . I guess one possibility is that there's some mega-sluts out there sexing everyone up and then dying before they can participate in these surveys , but I'll say that's also unlikely . So we meet in the middle right ? Most people have 3 partners of the opposite sex in their lifetime . Seem reasonable ? At first I thought this was total BS and that men and women must both be under reporting the number of<b> sex partners </font></b>they've had - because there is no way in hell that I (of all people) is above average when it comes to sexy sex time . But then I reconsidered . I have several married friends who've only ever had sex with their wives . I have a couple friends who took it to the hoop like Ron Jeremy back in the day , but most of the rest are in the 1-3 range . So maybe that number isn't so crazy . Maybe 3 is the average but there's a lot of 1s out there with a few Wilt Chamberlain's bringing up the average . Anyway , food for thought Topic #2 - How do you make love to a drunken lady ? I don't drink at all , and most of the lady friends I've had have been light drinkers at most , but there have been a few that liked to tie one on every now and then ; and I have to say , sex with a drunk chick is not that great . Sex is at least as complicated as driving right ? Maybe its different/more fun when you're both hammered , but in my experience drunk and sober is not a good combo in the bedroom . And of course its made worse because refusing to have sex with a drunk lady is not a good idea . Its never a good idea really (don't cry to me about a double standard when you get to enjoy that luxury) but its especially not a good idea when they have their trainer Jack Daniels in their corner . Speaking of which , what's a good trick for getting a drunk stubborn woman's keys away from her . An ex of mine was legendary for insisting no matter what they she was okay to drive and it was pretty much impossible to get her keys away from her . There were times she was too drunk to get up and get more booze successfully and she still wanted to drive home . One more than one occasion someone standing in front of her car was , well , run over isn't the right word ; but car made contact with human being . She quite literally would not let anyone stand in her way . I eventually just got the point where I've snatch her purse because she wouldn't remember anyway , but I'd like to hear some less invasive techniques . Topic #3 - Getting beaten up after an anti-bullying meeting , ironic or just sad ? Every now and then when I feel guilty about not really contributing anything to society I do some work with the Gay and Lesbian group at work , and one thing they've been doing lately is working on an anti-bully campaign . I have no clue how talking to me makes anyone feel better about being bullied but they're always desperate for volunteers so I've done it a few times . One thing I always think about when I'm leaving is that if I was a bully , sitting there listening to me give a shitty speech about how bullying is wrong - I would totally wait for me out in the parking lot and kick my ass . I'm old and feeble enough at this point that most high school could probably wail on me without too much trouble . It hasn't happened yet but it seems like only a matter of time . Putting first by putting employees first, immediately after prioritizing fiscal responsibilities and leveraging profitability towards exceeding by empowering our employees to put (and themselves) first, in a diverse and respectful environment of only those that come first, first. |
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Topic #1: 3 seems kinda low. I would think more people are closer to a dozen.  Topic #2: Compliment her on something on her key chain and ask to see it; drunk people are usually pretty easy to fool. Topic #3: That's just not right, but I'm sure something like it has happened somewhere. Elevate me... 
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