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Hello, and thanks for stopping by. I decided to create this blog because I wanted to dispel the idea, among some, that single men only think about sex. Hellll yes, I LOVE sex, but I also have a working brain. When I connect with a woman/couple, chemistry is paramount to me. So, even if I find the lady to be stunning, if there is no chemistry, I'm outta there... but diplomatically.
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I gave it the ol' Senior Sizzle try...
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Posted:Jun 28, 2011 9:54 am
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2017 9:03 pm
5927 Views
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Well, I thought I would renew my Silver membership "just one more time." Or, so I thought, a couple of months ago. I actually did renew, and then balked, thinking, "Surely, there ARE some serious people out there."
To my overall dismay, I found too many people during the last couple of months categorized by the following:
1) those who REALLY were serious about connecting with othes
2) those who ONLY wanted to trade pictures with NO INTENTION of meeting others, but masqueraded as being serious
3) those who ONLY wanted to perform "cyber sex" with NO intention of meeting others but masqueraded as being serious
4) those who sent Winks, Flirts, Kisses, but did not have the courtesy of penning an email, even a brief one
5) those who were "flakes" and "talked a good email game" until the moment of truth came: a follow-up telephone call or initial meeting for drinks even though there were no expectations about sex being part of the equation.
My question, rhetorically, is, "Why are there so many bullshitters on the site?" Of course, there are a range of answers, but I tell you, it has been somewhat frustrating. Granted, there ARE many serious folks on the site, some of whom I've had the honor/pleasure of meeting. When I was a Silver member years ago, there seemed to be a plethora of serious folks on the site. I don't know what's happened over the years on this site, but it seems flakes abound.
Regardless of the categories discussed above, there is one theme, however, that really "gets under my skin." Or, at least, on occassion I alllowed it to get "under my skin." That theme is courtesy. What, courtesy on a "sex site", you ask? Unequivocally, yes!
You see, whether you're a "swinger" or not, there are basic things I believe we all should adhere to. Regarding this site, whatever happened to people being courteous? I'll give you specific examples from my own experience.
I have received countless Flirts, Winks, Smiles, etc. On every instance, I have responded to the sender and thanked them for being kind enough to take time to send the aforementioned. On some occassions, I have even followed-up with folks and suggested that we spend some time to get acquainted via more emails and, eventually, a phone discussion. By no means do I "get off" by phone sex, so for me, it's an opportunity to get acquainted. Frankly, when I do speak with people on the phone, I don't even bring up the subject of sex. I just like to get a sense of the person's vibe.
To me, phone sex is a waste of valuable time and, frankly, it's erotic torture. LOL Why in hell would I want to listen to someone play with her pussy or hear others fuck while I listen on the phone? If, however, that's a prelude to us about to connect, I understand, as it can probably be a stimulating form of mental foreplay. But, for me to sit back and listen, knowing that I'm not going to massage, suck, fuck the lady is not how I prefer to spend my time.
I also recognize and understand that people have busy lives, as I do, beyond Senior Sizzle. So, sometimes it make take people time to respond to emails. I clearly understand that because my schedule gets hectic sometimes. I get that, so I'm not some loser moaning, "Oh, why won't they email me back?" I'm one of the most low-maintenance people you'll ever meet, completely fun-loving and drama-free. If I don't hear from people, I only trust and know they are simply taking care of business and that it's not personal.
Why do people three thousand miles away send Flirts and don't follow-up with an email or respond to an email acknowledging receipt of an email? Well, I've tried the courtesy thing and I'm just done. So, if you think about sending me a Flirt and you're on the other side of the country... DON'T send it unless you plan to follow it up with an email. One of my all-time favorite bands, Parliament-Funkadelic, has a song entitled, Think! It Ain't Illegal Yet."
Enough of my musings... Again, people, just be tactful and courteous. Common sense, unfortunately, is not so common. I'm a nice, personable person, but please, don't fuck with me if you have no intention of eventually meeting.
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Pussy-licking tips for men.
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Posted:Jun 1, 2011 1:49 pm
Last Updated:May 7, 2012 5:03 am
5762 Views
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Per the title of this posting, I want to share with the guys out there some of my techniques on licking/sucking a woman. I suppose some women might appreciate my suggestions as well,but there's a rationale as to why this posting is directed at men. Well, the primary reason is because I've heard countless women say they appreciate, more, being licked/sucked by a woman because women have tended to be more sensuous/delicate. Guys, pay attention to that!
One of the first suggestions I have, actually, is to READ. Read articles/journals, whether popular or scholarly, that address women's sexual desires. And, yes, there are scholarly articles about human sexual behavior. lol Read as much as your schedule permits because no two women are the same. Variety of experiences and desires, then, is essential. That is, the more you read, the more you'll learn about differences (and similarities) of women's sexual desires.
Now, for the particulars. Get that pen/paper out! lol Seriously, what you want to do, first, is make your lady comfortable. Talk to her while you have her legs parted. Gently and oh-so-delicately, part her legs slowwwwly while using your hands to massage her inner thighs. While doing this, gently flick your tongue on the insides of her legs/thighs. As you're doing this, look up into her eyes and tell her, "Mmmm, baby, I want to make you feel sooooo good, I can't wait to taste you." Or, you can create a tantalizing mood by teasing her, asking "Do you want me to lick your pussy? You want me to slide my tongue deep in you, don't you?" Remember, the key is to get her MIND racing, making her writhe with anticipation of not only when, but how you're going to lick/suck her.
Once you finally work your way up to that delicious love canal, BEFORE you dive in, lol, give her pussy a kiss. It seems that women tend to be more tactile and responsive to kisses than men. So, kiss the pussy, as kissing is a delicate, erotic act. Trust me, when you kiss the pussy, she's going to really appreciate that because it should send the message that you're taking your time to please her and that you're not out to "get yours." Further, I assure you that when she's turned on, you WILL get yours, so don't be a selfish lover.
Spread her labia (okay, at the risk of sounding to academic, spread her pussy lips lol) and lick them slowwwwly. Use your tongue to go up and down her pussy lips. Then, find that wonderful, spine-tingling button, her clit. Kiss her clit and get it wet. Take the clit between your upper/lower lips and and then stick your tongue out. Swirl your tongue around her clit while your lips are holding the clit in one place. Swirl your tongue clock-wise, then counter clock-wise. Remember, keep your hands busy by rubbing her legs/thighs. One "rule of thumb" I employ is that I always keep my body busy. That is, always make sure your hands are caressing her on some part of her body. And, don't be a mummy! Talk! Whisper! Continue to vocalise how sexy she is to you.
While you're working her clit in the motion described above, stop periodically and blow on it. The wetness of her clit and pussy, and the contrast of that warmth with blows of cool air should stimulate her even more. Then, slide your tongue in her pussy and use a circular motion with it. Always make sure your tongue is moving and creating various sensations by changing directions with your tongue as well as moving it in/out of her.
All women do not like to be fingered! So, make sure you know what your lady likes first. If she does like to be fingered, insert one finger while you're still licking/sucking her clit. Put the finger in a "U-shape" position while stimulating the upper-inside of her pussy. Move the finger up/down in that U-shape and, if she has that "sweet spot", you WILL find it. Communication is key, so don't hesitate to ask, "Do you like that, baby, do you want it faster or slower?" Pay attention to what she says! Generally, at least in our society, we men are not trained to be attentive lovers. Unfortunately, we're reinforced with "I gotta get mine" without regard to what SHE likes/desires. Don't be too macho to ask your lady what she likes when you're licking/sucking her. Remember, the goal is to do your damn best to help her cum like a geyser! On another note, if she's a "squirter", then rest assured what I've suggested will help! I've been fortunate to have been with women who "squirt" and I've found it to be uncommonly erotic!
That's about it for now. There are all types of ways to orally please your lady. Just take the time to find out, be a good listener/communicator and that will go a long, long way.
For the ladies reading this post, what do you think? How do YOU like, if at all, to be licked/sucked? What suggestions do YOU have for men?
Post your responses because there may be someone on this site who'll learn something and, perhaps, enhance the sexual relationship with her/his partner.
Finally, I have things I like to share on this blog, so feel free to either email me or post on this blog what you'd like me to address. Thanks, and I look forward to YOUR postings! Happy licking!
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Pussy-eating Addiction lol
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Posted:May 30, 2016 10:59 am
Last Updated:May 30, 2016 10:40 pm
3707 Views
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It's been a while since I've posted, so I thought I'd share some musings about one of my favorite carnal topics - eating pussy! Ohhhhh how I LOVE to do that. Don't get me wrong, YES, I LOVE to fuck as well, so don't misunderstand me. lol
As I was thinking last night (yes, there are actually single men on this site who don't think with their dicks lol), I was reflecting upon what excites me most. I have learned over the years I'm more of a "giver" in that I REALLY enjoy doing things to/with a woman where her desires are my focus. I love it when I'm doing something to a woman and her mind is stimulated, thoroughly, and if she's a "squirter", she's going in my last will and testament! lol
Seriously, I've learned that I get sooooo damn excited when I'm between a woman's legs, and she's wrapped them around my shoulders, as I'm licking/sucking/nibbling on her toes, inner thighs, etc. There's something so, so tantalizing about paying attention to her, from her body starting out just laying down to eventually writhing. The key is finding out what tongue/lip movements on her clit/pussy stimulate the most movements and/or moans. Pay attention to those, fellas!
I love to swirl my tongue around her clit, flicking it clock-wise, counter-clock-wise, and then darting my tongue in/out of her. And, it's even more mentally stimulating when I see/feel/hear her responses, and which movements I make that stimulate more movement/moans from her. Abso-damn-lutely stimulating indeed!
Years ago, a woman told me, "My husband is the ONLY one who knows how to make me cum from getting my pussy eaten. I doubt you can, but I'll, at least, give you a chance." After laughing my ass off, I told her, "Well, I'm not some Adonis who can make women cum just from snapping my finger. I can only guarantee you this: I LOVE to eat pussy, and I like to make a woman feel special. If you don't like the way I eat your pussy, simply tell me to leave. In fact, I will KEEP my clothes on, and won't expect you to fuck if you're not pleased."
When I went to visit the couple, we had a drink, chatted, laughed, and got acquainted. Her husband pulled me aside and said, "Good luck! I hope you can make her cum, but don't be disappointed if she doesn't."
Fast forward 10 minutes and she and I were on their bed. Her legs were spread and I laid between them (in a damn blazer and slacks, nonetheless! lol) and proceeded to caress her inner thighs with my hands, nibbling on them and caressing her nipples. She moaned some, and then I continued. Eventually, I used what I called the "butterfly technique." For those who're read about it, you know what it is! If you haven't, ohhhhhh are you in for a treat!
After using the technique for less than 10 minutes, her back arched, her thighs gripped my head/shoulders, she moaned out loud, "TAKE your fucking clothes off, NOW!" lol Her husband laughed like crazy and said, "Oh, so he did it to you, honey?" and she screamed out again for me to disrobe. Suffice it to say, we fucked like rabbits and they invited me back for on-going fun. They were a very nice couple, and a friendship developed.
So, what does all this mean? Well, one valuable lesson I learned is to be careful about being "locked in" to a particular perspective. That is, the wife was so set in her ways, mentally, that no other man could make her cum from oral sex. She found out the hard way, lol, that boundaries are often set, only to be dismantled.
It also taught me how much I love eating pussy, and how I actually read all types of articles about techniques, etc. It's just damn fun learning about the ways I can please a woman, and even more when we're all "clicking" on all cylinders.
Until my next post, thanks for reading.
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Pussy-licking tips for men.
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Posted:Jun 1, 2011 1:48 pm
Last Updated:Nov 19, 2018 5:37 pm
5667 Views
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Per the title of this posting, I want to share with the guys out there some of my techniques on licking/sucking a woman. I suppose some women might appreciate my suggestions as well,but there's a rationale as to why this posting is directed at men. Well, the primary reason is because I've heard countless women say they appreciate, more, being licked/sucked by a woman because women have tended to be more sensuous/delicate. Guys, pay attention to that!
One of the first suggestions I have, actually, is to READ. Read articles/journals, whether popular or scholarly, that address women's sexual desires. And, yes, there are scholarly articles about human sexual behavior. lol Read as much as your schedule permits because no two women are the same. Variety of experiences and desires, then, is essential. That is, the more you read, the more you'll learn about differences (and similarities) of women's sexual desires.
Now, for the particulars. Get that pen/paper out! lol Seriously, what you want to do, first, is make your lady comfortable. Talk to her while you have her legs parted. Gently and oh-so-delicately, part her legs slowwwwly while using your hands to massage her inner thighs. While doing this, gently flick your tongue on the insides of her legs/thighs. As you're doing this, look up into her eyes and tell her, "Mmmm, baby, I want to make you feel sooooo good, I can't wait to taste you." Or, you can create a tantalizing mood by teasing her, asking "Do you want me to lick your pussy? You want me to slide my tongue deep in you, don't you?" Remember, the key is to get her MIND racing, making her writhe with anticipation of not only when, but how you're going to lick/suck her.
Once you finally work your way up to that delicious love canal, BEFORE you dive in, lol, give her pussy a kiss. It seems that women tend to be more tactile and responsive to kisses than men. So, kiss the pussy, as kissing is a delicate, erotic act. Trust me, when you kiss the pussy, she's going to really appreciate that because it should send the message that you're taking your time to please her and that you're not out to "get yours." Further, I assure you that when she's turned on, you WILL get yours, so don't be a selfish lover.
Spread her labia (okay, at the risk of sounding to academic, spread her pussy lips lol) and lick them slowwwwly. Use your tongue to go up and down her pussy lips. Then, find that wonderful, spine-tingling button, her clit. Kiss her clit and get it wet. Take the clit between your upper/lower lips and and then stick your tongue out. Swirl your tongue around her clit while your lips are holding the clit in one place. Swirl your tongue clock-wise, then counter clock-wise. Remember, keep your hands busy by rubbing her legs/thighs. One "rule of thumb" I employ is that I always keep my body busy. That is, always make sure your hands are caressing her on some part of her body. And, don't be a mummy! Talk! Whisper! Continue to vocalise how sexy she is to you.
While you're working her clit in the motion described above, stop periodically and blow on it. The wetness of her clit and pussy, and the contrast of that warmth with blows of cool air should stimulate her even more. Then, slide your tongue in her pussy and use a circular motion with it. Always make sure your tongue is moving and creating various sensations by changing directions with your tongue as well as moving it in/out of her.
All women do not like to be fingered! So, make sure you know what your lady likes first. If she does like to be fingered, insert one finger while you're still licking/sucking her clit. Put the finger in a "U-shape" position while stimulating the upper-inside of her pussy. Move the finger up/down in that U-shape and, if she has that "sweet spot", you WILL find it. Communication is key, so don't hesitate to ask, "Do you like that, baby, do you want it faster or slower?" Pay attention to what she says! Generally, at least in our society, we men are not trained to be attentive lovers. Unfortunately, we're reinforced with "I gotta get mine" without regard to what SHE likes/desires. Don't be too macho to ask your lady what she likes when you're licking/sucking her. Remember, the goal is to do your damn best to help her cum like a geyser! On another note, if she's a "squirter", then rest assured what I've suggested will help! I've been fortunate to have been with women who "squirt" and I've found it to be uncommonly erotic!
That's about it for now. There are all types of ways to orally please your lady. Just take the time to find out, be a good listener/communicator and that will go a long, long way.
For the ladies reading this post, what do you think? How do YOU like, if at all, to be licked/sucked? What suggestions do YOU have for men?
Post your responses because there may be someone on this site who'll learn something and, perhaps, enhance the sexual relationship with her/his partner.
Finally, I have things I like to share on this blog, so feel free to either email me or post on this blog what you'd like me to address. Thanks, and I look forward to YOUR postings! Happy licking!
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My perspective on giving oral sex to a woman... yummy!
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Posted:May 19, 2011 2:04 pm
Last Updated:Aug 8, 2017 9:02 pm
5499 Views
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I have sometimes been asked, "Where in the world did you learn THAT?" in reference to giving oral sex to a woman. First and foremost, I am NOT, in ANY WAY suggesting I'm some Oral Sex God with some huge ego - far from it, in fact I consider myself an on-going, avid and attentive learner. For me, I'm well beyond the macho bullshit mentality that permeates through our society.
Anyway, as I referred to in my previous post, I've learned to be a more attentive, compassionate lover over the years. One area that's been REALLY fun to learn more about is performing oral sex on a woman.
I thought it would be a good idea to share some of my techniques and, of course, hear from YOU about techniques you employ and/or enjoy. So, here are a few suggestions for the guys out there who may find this posting of interest. Since this is an adult site, I'll be graphic and use language commensurate with the environment. That is, if I were giving a lecture, I would not say to my colleagues, "One of the techniques I use when eating pussy is..." lol You get the point, so here we go.
1) The pussy is NOT a Domino's pizza! So, don't chew on the clit like it's a morsel of sausage. Think about how you like to get your dick sucked! If a woman bites on your dick, what do you do? Exactly! (that is, unless you actually like to be bitten on your dick, that's different from what I'm saying). Your usual response might be, "Ohhhh shit! Hey baby, that's alright, I'm okay, you don't have to do that." In your head, however, you're saying, "That shit hurt, and if I let her finish, my dick is going to be too raw to fuck!"
Conversely, treat the clit like the oh-so-delicate organ it is. I don't know if you've ever been fortunate to have witnessed two women perform oral sex on each other, but if you have, you'll know how delicate and tender they lick/suck each other. Whew! Pay attention to how they do it! Obviously, people have different threshholds for pain, and some like higher levels of pain than others. Therefore, fellas, YOUR task is to discover what your partner prefers. At the very least, start out gentle and when you see/feel/hear that she's responding by writhing her hips and moaning, uhhh, duhh, don't stop that shit!
2) Be gentle. Remind your lady that you WANT to please her. Don't eat her pussy because you're being selfish, that is, "If I eat the pussy, she's going to suck me." Do it because it's the RIGHT THING TO DO!
Start out by having her lay back, legs spread. Then, as you GENTLY get between her legs, look up, deeply, into her eyes and say, "I want to do whatever it takes to make you feel good" and then begin nibbling on her toes as you rub her inner thighs with your hands. I hate to say, this but I have to: ladies, make sure those toes are clean/fresh/manicured. As much as I LOVE to lick/suck a woman's toes, if they aren't clean and manicured, there's no way in hell I'm sucking them, much like many of you don't like licking balls/dick if the guy has the Geico Caveman hair all over his balls! I do have standards... they may be low, but I have'em. lol
As you move your mouth upwards, gently flick your tongue on her inner thighs. Trust me, if she doesn't respond from that, well, you better call Dr. Kevorkian because she's dead! lol Seriously, it's soooo damn erotic to MENTALLY entice her, talking to her about how you want to please her, how HER orgasm(s) is/are your focus/foci.
3) The moment of truth. Once you make it up to her pussy, before you "dive in", once again, look up into her eyes, and say, "Damn, you taste soooo good!" (again, I hate to mention this, but ladies, the pussy's GOT to be clean and smelling fresh, at least for me. I am NOT eating a pussy that smells like Ranch-flavored nachos!) and then slowwwwwly, oh-so-slowwwly, kiss her on the pussy as if you were kissing her lips... softly, delicately. The key here is, let her HEAR you kissing her pussy. Let me repeat that... let her HEAR you kissing the pussy before you proceed. Let her know you appreciate the pussy and relish it!
In many cases, a woman will be so mentally stimulated by HEARING this and you essentially narrating what you're going to do is likely to turn her on even further. REMEMBER, we men are not used to taking our time to concentrate on our partner so it's likely the woman has experienced men who did not concentrate on her such that when you do the above, she will probably thinking "Ohhhhhh shit, he's not a wham-bam" type of guy and the pussy will be so wet you can, analogously, float a boat in her. Again, let me stress, this is NOT a panacea, that is, every woman is different, so this is based upon MY experience. The key, then, is being attentive to YOUR partner's desires - as I see it, it's ALL about being a "giver" and ohhhh what a giver I am.
Frankly, for me, it's been sexually librating from how I grew up. I grew up in a time period and location where, unfortunately, there was a MAJOR stereotype that "Black men don't eat pussy." Now, I know better.
Initially, I bought into that nonsense as a Black man, but when I first did it, it blew my mind in terms of how my lady responded. NO BULLSHIT, this is what I said to her at that time "You know, I'm sorry I bought into that stereotype, but from this day forth, I will do what it takes to please you, and now that I know how you respond to my tongue, I'm going to be licking/sucking you so much you won't be able to walk." She laughed at the content of what I said, but when I stared licking her clit, well, suffice it to say, her head started spinning like Linda Blair in the movie, The Excorcist. lol
Fellas, listen: you will "get yours" and that's cool, but I say this with ALL sincerity, when you give it's sooooo damn erotic it's unbelieavable. Don't be selfish. Again, don't do it because of what you expect her to do to/for you. Noooooo! Do it because it drives your woman fuckin' mad!(in a good way) So, even if you're the selfish type, remember that the more you do for her, the more she'll do for you. Make sense?
'Tis time for me to dash, so the next posting will focus more on specific techniques. That, frankly, was my original intent, but the more I wrote, the more I felt compelled to discuss perspective FIRST because if you have the wrong perspective, then the technique is essentially mute.
Let me know what you think, I actually DO appreciate your feedback.
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Random thoughts on being a single, experienced man
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Posted:May 16, 2011 7:02 am
Last Updated:Aug 10, 2017 11:23 pm
5604 Views
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I felt compelled to pen some of my thoughts, finally, on what it means to be a single man who "swings." Well, suffice it to say, I've met some FANTASTIC people from ALL walks of life. Most of my experiences have been very, very pleasant. Hell, in fact, I even reflect on some of those experiences when I'm sitting in a boring ass meeting or presentation. I've had my share of, "Uhhh, are you paying attention?" leveled at me during those times. lol
So, what does it mean to me to be a single man who swings? Well, because I'm not a "newbie," I am more selective. That is, I have abso-damn-lutely noooo problem opting out a situation when I meet a couple and find out, from my perspective, they are swinging for the wrong reasons.
Specifically, since I am not desperate for sex, I always ask a woman/couple if they are amenable to meeting for drinks/conversation in a mutually agreed upon restaurant/bar. I like to find out THEIR reasons for "doing this." As you can imagine, people swing for different reasons. In some cases, the husband may have health issues, but the marriage is secure and they are comfortable with inviting a "third" into the equation. I'm perfectly fine with those situations.
In others, I've been in situations where I've met couples at a restaurant and I could sense, which is easily to do, that it was the husband's idea, but the wife was not TOTALLY into it or receptive. Trust me, on more than one occassion I have encountered this and have usually said, "You know, I'm flattered ya'll considered me, but I'll have to respectfully decline." In many of those situations, the woman was gorgeous! So, you may say, "Why in hell would you pass up on an opportunity to fuck a pretty woman?" The answer is simple: it's disrespectful. That is, I don't believe in forcing sex on anyone and I damn-sure am not going to be in a situation where the woman is "going through the motions to make her hubby happy." So, fuck that!
Yes, I LOVE sex, but I think undo, unrealistic pressure like that is abusive. I choose, therefore, to think with my brain, not my dick. My dick may be so hard for the woman that a cat couldn't scratch it, but, again, that's not my style. That's coercion, and "that ain't cool" with me.
Let's face it, if the "vibe" is not there during sex, it's mechanical. I'm the consummate partner in terms of being attentive and concentrating on my partner's desires. I understand and LOVE the mental/intellectual eroticism of doing things to/with a woman where SHE is the focus. When I'm mentally stimulated, watch the fuggggg out! LOL
From a societal perspective, we men in this country are taught to "get ours" and not really concern oursevles with what a woman wants, sexually or otherwise. Fortunately, I learned a lonnng time ago that when you concentrate on a woman's desires and make HER the center of attention, the sparks DO fly, and ohhhh, boy do they fly!
So, if I can impart any "words of wisdom" to single men out there, I would say don't be a selfish partner. The more you mentally stimulate your partner, you'll find the more YOU will enjoy it. And, take the TIME to do those things too many men overlook, i.e., massages, candles, soft music, strategic and slow flicks of the tonuge, etc. Just relax and find out what she likes and I ASSURE you, your experpiences will be so, so fulfilling. Here's the key: do it because it's the right thing to do, NOT because you know if you do it she's going to give you some great head. LOL
That's it for now. Your thoughts?
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To link to this blog (cablkm4u) use [blog cablkm4u] in your messages.
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